Today, a variation of our regular Page 1 feature: an example of something Apprentice Writer thought worked well, what had no strong reaction, and what turned off.
OPENER: YES!
"Many people pray for tedium", Genova Smith's mother had often said to her as a girl if she complained that she was bored. It had not convinced her then, and didn't now.
Jo Beverley, 'Winter Fire'
OPENER: INDIFFERENT
"Hannah Ross had never seen such a long table in all her life."
Nikki Rivers, 'Finding Mr. Perfect'
OPENER: PLEASE MAKE IT STOP
"Valerian Fitzhugh stood before the narrow window he had pushed open in the vain hope that some of the stale, dank air trapped within the small room might be so accomodating as to exchange places with a refreshing modicum of the cooler, damp breeze coming in off the moonit Arno. Both the river that divided the city and the lofty dome of the catterale di Santa Maria del Fiore were vaguely visible from Fitzhugh's vantage point, though that particular attribute could not be thought to serve..." etc, etc.
Kasey Michaels, 'The Chaotic Miss Crispino'
Does the Gentle Reader care to share any examples?
where a budding comedy writer marks milestones on the road to dropping the 'apprentice' portion of her name
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1 comment:
I like the first, and the third actually works for me...
Crazy, I know -- but if feels literary and I love Florence. I could see the Santa Maria del Fiore dome in my mind.
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