Apprentice Writer has reached the age when the way she feels in her head is mysteriously at odds with the number of the candles that should be on the cake. 'Should be', because she has long since disallowed something so distasteful as mathematically correct flames on her cake.
As such, the non-fiction collection of short stories in "My Formerly Hot Life: Dispatches from Just the Other Side of Young" called out to her. They also made her laugh in rueful recognition, such as the author's description of that exquisite torture known as 'shopping for new jeans'.
"...I needed jeans, badly.
The ones that fit were clearly out of style.
The ones that didn't (yeah, no, they hadn't gotten too loose) had a nasty habit of dialing my Blackberry whenever I carried it in my back pocket. I'd get home after a long day at work and find three messages on my machine from my own ass...."
She goes on to describe the disparity between the labels of 'young' brand jeans, and the reality of her own current life, and lists the kinds of brand names that she would buy:
"Solvent and Still Viable
Good Credit Score Jeans
Call Me 'Ma'am' at Your Own Risk Jeans
Nothing to Prove Jeans
So Over It Jeans
You Just Wait Jeans
Talk to Me When You're 30 Jeans
Love That Lycra Jeans
Been There, Done That (Twice) Jeans"
Ha!
The author has a 'Formerly' blog here.
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