Wednesday, December 21, 2011

12 Days of Christmas - Redux

In this corner of the world, it is currently impossible to avoid game fowl attached to fruit crops. Sometimes, this alternates with spinning dreidel type music; Apprentice Writer has yet to hear any Divali or Kwanzaa music on the radio. Partridge-bearing pear trees dominate.

They also beg the question: what kind of person really thinks it's a good idea to prove his true love with a hen that speaks French or men in a hop/skip/jump competition?

Today, alternate suggestions from a trio of Canadians.

From Antonia Zerbisias, columnist with the Toronto Star :

"On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
A penthouse apartment,
A driver and a Beamer,
10 Botox treatments,
9 spa vacations,
8 maids a-cleaning,
7 Prada outfits,
6 Manohlo Blahniks,
more closet space,
4 Cartier watches,
3 French dinners,
2 Hermes scarves,
And a pug in a purse Gucci!"

If Antonia's tastes are too elevated, there is always Bob & Doug McKenzie (aka Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas of SCTV):

"On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
twelve dozen doughnuts,
8 comic books
7 packs of smokes
6 packs of 2-4's
5 golden tuques
4 pounds of back bacon
3 French toast
2 turtlenecks
and a beer in a tree!"

In Apprentice Writer's house, that would be a root beer.

If this is the season for the Gentle Reader to celebrate: many happy returns, and AW wishes you your preferred gifts, feathers included or not.

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