Anatomy of DNF

Apprentice Writer continues her dissection of what makes a book unfinishable for her.

The latest premature goodbye was bid to a contemporary romance, the second book of an author who maintains a smart and likable online presence, and whose books received a lot of buzz and very healthy publicity push. AW didn't attempt the first, partially due to hating the cover and partially due to lukewarm reviews, but the second cover looked good and the premise was promising.

Why did she stop?

1. Three uses of the word 'sardonic' in the first dozen pages
= author not living up to job requirement to impress with deft vocabulary.

2. Multiple references in same amount of space to how good-looking the hero is
= we get it already.

3. One paragraph about the heroine's notice of the hero's eyes, followed immediately by another paragraph on same
= proof of line editors being sacrificed to budget cuts in publishing houses?

4. The coup de grace: it is small-town girl heroine's first night in New York City, where she knows nothing and no-one but a colleague she met just that day who has brought her to a bar, where they soon become separated. She meets the hero, and without knowing ANYTHING about him (even his name) she agrees to go home with him - without even having the courtesy to inform her colleague that she's leaving, simply instructing the bartender to pass on the message
= in AW's world, this is not the bartender's job, and this is truly a TSTL heroine. AW will forgive many character flaws, but not stupidity on such astronomical level.

And that is how this book became a wallbanger.

Gentle Reader, was AW too harsh? Justified? What led to your latest DNF?

Anatomy of DNF, Part II

As a person trying to figure out what works in novel-writing and what doesn't, Apprentice Writer is always especially interested in books unfinished. How does a book make her give up after it has done the heavy lifting of convincing her to bring it home?

The lesson drawn from the most recent DNF episode was:

BEWARE THE DANGER OF OVERWRITING.

Ask any published or aspiring writer what they think of this statement, and the agreement rate would probably be 100%. Where to draw the line on what is reasonable and what is too much, is, of course, the tricky part, and a matter of personal taste. The first pages of the current candidate made clear that AW's threshold is well below that of the author. This is a debut effort; for that reason, title shall remain nameless. AW doesn't need the bad karma of standing in a freshly-hatched author's way.


Where did it all become too much?

1. Driving home points with a sledgehammer:

'He was angry. Horribly angry. Livid. Enraged. Furious.'

2. Redundancy:

'May we discuss our private matter privately?'

3. Taking advice to show emotion by describing involuntary physical actions/reactions to the extreme:

During the space of four pages devoted to a conversation with her brother, a minor character:

froze
shot a nervous glance
twisted her hands
coughed and started anew
shivered
blinked and looked away
glanced down both sides of the corridor before turning her nervous glance to his face
stammered
her cheeks leeched of color
her lips trembled
tugged her bare fingers
jumped
her response was a vivid blush and violent shake of the head
slumped against the wainscoting
her shoulders shook
nibbled at her lip
tossed him a nervous glance
clenched her fingers together so tightly the knuckles went white
her pale brow furrowed
her words trailed off as another crimson stain spread up from her throat
started and blanched
her eyes widened
looked away, eyelashes quivering
he could smell the unease in her sweat

Here was the point that AW knew: this was not the book for her.

If this amount of scrutiny is devoted to a minor character, at the beginning of the story, how much jumping and slumping and blanching and quivering were in store for the main character once the plot actually heated up? What in the world was the hero going to smell in her sweat? Apprentice Writer just didn't want to find out.

Gentle Reader: do you appreciate spare writing, or do you prefer lots of descriptives? What makes you stop reading a book?

m.

TWIN REVIEWS: Bath

CONFESSIONS OF A JANE AUSTEN ADDICT
Laurie Viera Rigler
TIME TRAVEL


BATH TANGLE
Georgette Heyer
HISTORICAL FICTION


Premise
Contemporary woman wakes up in the body and home of an Austen-era woman.
-
Newly-orphaned woman learns her financial affairs have been left in the control of her ex-fiance.


What Works
Never mind how enticing and romantic history looks in period cinema - what would it really be like for someone used to modern-day comforts (and flaws) to experience a bygone world? The author's experiment of how this could play out was an interesting one. In her regular existence, her heroine escapes unpleasant realities in the pages of Ms. Austen's works, but soon learns that life in Regency England - especially for a young woman, even if of relatively privileged position - is not all dancing and roses. She goes from a flippant sort of perspective, thinking what she does in this world doesn't really matter since she will soon wake up in her true world, to a gradual understanding that her actions and speech can have potentially devastating consequences for the woman whose body she inhabits (for example, the very real threat of confinement in an insane asylum), the servants who may be blamed for things she does, and her family and friends who can be destroyed by association with a woman of potentially ruined reputation. Though she doesn't ever completely stop chafing at the restrictions and double standards placed upon women historically, she does develop an appreciation for the quieter pleasures of life, and respect for individuals who hold not only others but themselves up to much more encompassing moral standards than she is used to.
-
Reading a contemporary, American woman's description of the historical social scene in the city of Bath alongside a previous-generation, English woman's description of the same thing was entertaining.


What Doesn't
For a time travel novel, apart from the appearance of a wise Gypsy woman there was virtually no explanation of how the phenomenon took place or was reversed, and absolutely none of what happened on the other end (did the woman whose body was inhabited 'stay' there in a dormant state, or did she wake up in modern times?). On an intellectual level, Apprentice Writer can understand that the focus of the story was on the heroine's developing insights, making the time travel mechanism secondary. As a reader, though, she felt grouchy not to get more detail. A machine disguised as ordinary everyday appliance? Magic rainbow? Disembodied voice and invisible transporting hand? Give this reader something, anything; she promises not to snark it.
It also felt odd how negatively the heroine viewed her Austen-time mother, due to he latter's obsession with marrying her off. This preoccupation is easy to see as humorous and old-fashioned from a modern perspective, but it seemed strange for the heroine to ridicule it considering her adoration of Austen novels (her single greatest joy in the stoy is being able to read first editions) and the fact that The Big One contains that excellent scene when Mrs. Bennet, up to then a slightly comical character due to similar fixation, is mildly chastised by her daughter for it and she draws herself up magnificently to deliver a succinct summary about the harsh reality of finding spouses (i.e. lowering the odds of spinsterhood near-starvation) for five daughters. One of the most outstanding reality-check scenes of all time, yet the heroine seems to overlook it entirely.
*
Works by Georgette Heyer, the late and highly prolific author, are enjoying a renaissance of interest. This title was Apprenctice Writer's first foray after reading waves of praise for the author's witty, original characters, dialogue, and plotting. At the half-way point of 'Bath Tangle', she was still waiting for something to happen, and for all the wit and originality to appear. Mostly, the story till then consisted of exclamation points (many, many per page) and various characters commenting on the poor behavior of others. Luckily, the authors at Risky Regencies came to AW's rescue by chatting about their Heyer favorites. When AW confessed what hard going she was finding "Bath Tangle" they assured her this is not the author's best work, suggestd a slew of better ones, and even (gulp) suggested she abandon this title without guilty conscience. So she did.

Overall
A thoughtful exploration of adjustment to a different world.
-
Heyer judgement on hold; curious about whether the exclamation mark fondness will show up elsewhere.

Gentle Reader - how do you feel about time travel being explained? If you have read 'Bath Tangle', do you think AW was right to DNF or should she persevere?

Anatomy of DNF

There are many reasons why a reader might pick up one book and not another.

How about the reasons why a reader might disengage from a book part way through?

AFTER THE RICE, Wendy French (Women's Fiction)
Originally picked up because: Enjoyed the author's debut novel, "sMothering", and was fascinated with the premise - a young, healthy, happily-in-love married couple choose to remain childless but find themselves accidentally pregnant. There are many people who remain childless due to fertility problems, financial imperative, not finding the right partner, focus on career, etc., but a couple in the protagonists' situation has not been explored in any books Apprentice Writer has ever read. Sounded promising.
Why put down: Did not want to spend more time with the characters. Following a first chapter in which it seems that the heroine continually observes things about her new husband which irritate her, there is a scene about how the husband wishes there were some way to avoid the obligation of dinner with the wife's family. Initially, this reader thought this was supposed to be a sign of potential ill fit between the spouses. After encountering the family at said dinner, Apprentice Writer cannot blame him. The members 'snap' at each other rather than speaking, they disapprove of the way one sister is 'spoiling' her daughter whom they've dubbed (apparently without affection) 'Pink Tyrant', the mother has to use undisguised coercion for everyone to respond to the invitation of an elderly relative, and the father employs an apparently oft-needed tactic of starting a tableside game to deflect bickering among siblings who are one and all adults. No thanks.
Ultimate test: Based on the strength of the first novel read, AW would look to another novel by this author despite DNF status of this one.


THE SECRET DIARIES OF MISS MIRANDA CHEEVER, Julia Quinn (Historical Romance)
Originally picked up because: It's Julia Quinn!
Why put down: Could not tolerate the hero. He had been harddone by in the backstory, yes, but that just didn't stretch far enough to excuse his being at strategic moments dismissive towards his mother, bullying towards his sister, and petulant, immature, and selfishly evasive towards the heroine. This reader kept hoping someone better would pop up for the heroine, and when it became clear that wouldn't happen it was game over.
Ultimate test: It's Julia Quinn. Or course AW will read this author again!


ME AND MR. DARCY, Alexandra Potter (Paranormal Chicklit)
Originally picked up because: Intrigued by premise of a contemporary heroine going on an Austen-oriented coach tour and somehow being transported back to several encounters with the 'Pride & Prejudice' hero.
Why put down: Could not stand the thought that the relentlessly bland heroine might end up with the perfection that is Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy!
Ultimate test: Though the premise was good and might be so again for another novel, the writing style did nothing to draw AW in, so another book would need to arrive with mega buzz and have a spectactular first page to make this reader try again.


MUMS @ HOME, Sophie King (Women's Fiction)
Originally picked up because: Enjoyed a previous novel by the author, "The School Run", and was attracted to the premise - an ensemble piece about the people who join a parenting website and how it changes their lives.
Why put down: The group of people described in the opening chapters are so utterly angst-ridden that this reader developed a tension headache before the story got properly going. Not what she generally aims for when reading.
Ultimate test: If she came upon another book by this author, AW would give the first ten pages a whirl.

Gentle Reader - what say you? Did you finish any of these stories and think Apprentice Writer should have kept going? What makes you put a book down incomplete?