Notable Quotes

From "Wicked Appetite", Janet Evanovich, 2010, p. 1

"I graduated (from culinary arts school) in the top ninety-three percent of my class, and I would have graduated higher, but I flunked in gravy. My gravy had lumps in it, and that pretty much sums up my life so far. Not that it's been all bad; more that it hasn't been entirely smooth."

Apprentice Writer thinks this is an excellent little bit of opening characterization. The summary skillfully depicts the protagonist as "Average Girl Next Door", with neither an especially privileged nor deprived background. The choice of gravy, of all the thousands of potential foodstuffs available, is a brilliant metaphor to reinforce the Everywoman concept. Compared to flunking, say, escargots (denotes haute cuisine) or casseroles (denotes cooking on a budget), gravy seems both middle of the road and bland. Certainly not representative of paranormal excitement or forbidden men thrill, precisely what our cupcake-baking, gravy-failing Girl Next Door is about to run into. So with this opening paragraph, the author has set the stage for upcoming dramatic tension and collision of very different worlds.

Even funnier than the gravy is "....in the top 93%". This means that only 7% of the whole class had worse marks than she did - not exactly the kind of thing one usually highlights. Gotta love a heroine with the chutzpah to draw attention to such scores.

Well done!

Notable Quotes: 'Huh?' Edition

"Classical musicians were the rock stars of their day, much like the rock stars of today are the notaries public of tomorrow."

Anyone care to explain to Apprentice Writer what, exactly, this means?

In case it's helpful: it was taken from today's Groupon email attempting to entice AW with the featured deal of the day. For the curious: AW chose not to take advantage of it.

Notable Quotes

How to describe a goddess? It would need to be in a way that sets her apart from mortals, of course. Regarding Hera:

"Her hair was the color of blackmail, her spine like a guillotine..."

from "Gods Behaving Badly" by Marie Phillips

Quote of the Day: Stephanie Dolgoff

And because of the instant recognition Apprentice Writer felt when she read it, another quote from Stephanie Dolgoff's ruminations on the progress of time taken from the chapter 'The Comfort vs. Style Smackdown' :


"...finding clothes that stylishly bridge the gap between too young and middle-aged frump is not simple. When I look at what other Formerlies on the street are wearing, I mostly see three categories:

1) Those trying too hard to look younger than they are. I'm thinking if your C-section scar is visible over your jeans, they are too low...

2) Those who seem to think they are being punished and so are only permitted to shop at Dress Barn..

3) Those who don't appear to be trying at all. I respect these opt-outers, but I hope they're choosing to live off the fashion grid in defiance of child exploitation or because they prefer to cultivate their inner selves than because they have nothing but sweats in their closet. My friend Kelly is an opt-outer most days of the week. She drives a mini-van, wears Uggs and even worn pjs under her coat to drop off her kids at school, 'a veritable trifecta of mom-letting-go offences,' as she puts it. She has decided to believe that she is one of those people, like incognito movie stars and models who look good wearing a mesh laundry bag, who is so fabulous she can pull it off. It works for the three weeks of the month she's not about to have her period. 'Then for one unholy week you are just a fat, middle-aged, angry woman sitting in a mini-van,' she says. "

As the Gentle Reader may have guessed, AW drives a mini-van. *sigh*

Quote of the Day: Stephanie Dolgoff

Apprentice Writer has reached the age when the way she feels in her head is mysteriously at odds with the number of the candles that should be on the cake. 'Should be', because she has long since disallowed something so distasteful as mathematically correct flames on her cake.

As such, the non-fiction collection of short stories in "My Formerly Hot Life: Dispatches from Just the Other Side of Young" called out to her. They also made her laugh in rueful recognition, such as the author's description of that exquisite torture known as 'shopping for new jeans'.

"...I needed jeans, badly.

The ones that fit were clearly out of style.

The ones that didn't (yeah, no, they hadn't gotten too loose) had a nasty habit of dialing my Blackberry whenever I carried it in my back pocket. I'd get home after a long day at work and find three messages on my machine from my own ass...."

She goes on to describe the disparity between the labels of 'young' brand jeans, and the reality of her own current life, and lists the kinds of brand names that she would buy:

"Solvent and Still Viable
Good Credit Score Jeans
Call Me 'Ma'am' at Your Own Risk Jeans
Nothing to Prove Jeans
So Over It Jeans
You Just Wait Jeans
Talk to Me When You're 30 Jeans
Love That Lycra Jeans
Been There, Done That (Twice) Jeans"

Ha!


The author has a 'Formerly' blog here.

Quote of the Day

Apprentice Writer recently posted a book review that contained the observation that one of the most fun things about fantasy and science fiction novels is the opportunity for the author to get creative with language. That book reviewed on that particular occasion feel flat in lingual creativity, a fact AW was reminded of recently when she came across an example where it didn't.

In 'Scar Night', a dark (very!) fantasy by Alan Campbell, one of the villains travels deep into the so-called Deadsands outside of the chained city and encounters members of the so-called primitive nomadic tribes who have survived, some more and some less intact, the city military forces periodic attempts to exterminate them. An elderly, partially senile member of the tribal council objects:

"You loose-fluted bastard! I don't give a shrivel!"

AW's point is made: the reader doesn't have to know what loose flutes or shrivels are to understand the character's meaning perfectly.

Quote of the Day

"Stealth Hit - a phrase seemingly used for novels on the bestseller list that aren't written by Stephanie Meyer or Dan Brown."

Sandra Kasturi, 'Signing Simians Steal Show', in The Toronto Star, 3 October 2010

(An article about 'The Ape House' by Sara Gruen, whose previous novel 'Water for Elephants' was considered one such stealth hit and whose latest is praised by the reviewer)

Quotes: THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON

THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON
Sarah Addison Allen
Contemporary Fiction with Fantasy Elements
2010



Apprentice Writer posted recently on similes and metaphors that go awry. In such cases, the flow of the story is stopped while she re-reads to try and puzzle it out.

Sometimes, though, she stops to re-read for sheer beauty of what the author has created. Such was repeatedly the case with 'The Girl Who Chased the Moon' by new-to-her author Sarah Addison Allen. Here for your reading pleasure, some gems:

"(He) watched a whale of gray sky swallow the pink evening light."

"She always smelled like carnations from her florist shop when she came in from work. The scent ran ahead of her into the room, like an excited pet."

"I met up with Stella earlier (at the fair), but then her entourage got too big. Stella is like a comet collecting space debris as she passes."

"He was standing as still as stone, watching them with an expression made of ghosts and anger."


*heavy sigh of writerly envy*

Even better, the story as a whole is delightful - charming, natural, about real, recognizable characters in a small town. There is an element of light fantasy involved but it is an embellishmnt to the main story rather than the main plotpoint. With writing like this, TGWCTM will certainly not be AW's last Addison Allen title.

/m

Page 1: Lessons in French

"Lady Callista Taillefaire was a gifted wallflower. By the age of seven-and-twenty, she had perfected the art of blending into the wallpaper and woodwork so well that she never had to dance, and only her most intimate friends greeted her. She could sit against the pink damask in the ballroom or sit against the green silk in the refreshment chamber. She didn't even have to match to be overlooked."

Laura Kinsale

Next: Apprentice Writer's review.

Page 1: FOODIE MEMOIR x 2

"Thursday, October 6, 1949
Paris

At 7 o'clock on a dreary evening in the Left Bank, Julia began roasting pigeons for the second time in her life. She'd roasted them that morning for the first time during her first-ever cooking lesson, in a cramped basement kitchen at the Cordon Bleu cooking school at 129, rue de Faubourg-St.Honore. Now she was roasting some more in the rented flat she shared with her husband, Paul, in the kitchen at the top of a narrow stairway in what used to be the servant quarters."

Julie Powell, 'Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously'


"Today on the bus a guy called me a fat bitch."

I'm standing in the kitchen folding a stick of softened butter, a cup of warmed sour cream, and a mound of fresh-shaved Parmesan into my world-famous mashed potatoes while I recount my day's activities to Fletch...and am waiting for the green beans to blanch so I can toss the whole lot with yet more butter before serving the meal.
(Footnote): I'm about a tablespoon of heavy cream away from having the National Dairy Council sponsor our dinner."

Jen Lancaster, 'Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest to Find Out if her Life Makes her Ass Look Big'


Reviews Tomorrow

m.

Page 1

"This is either the longest suicide note in history or the juiciest, dirtiest, most delicious confession you'll ever hear. Call me Canela. That's Spanish for Cinammon, but don't call me Cinnamon; that's a stripper's name."
Josefina Lopez, 'Hungry Woman in Paris'

"There are a few theories about my weight. One of them places the responsibility of my extra pounds on my reckless behavior: I eat too much. I don't exercise enough, I combine the wrong foods, I eat late at night, etc. The truth is that I watch carefully what I eat, I exercise every day, and I never eat carbohydrates past 7 p.m. So there goes that theory."
Alberto Ferreras, 'B as in Beauty'


Twin reviews of these novels tomorrow.

Page 1

"At the age of eleven, Catherine Weston was buried alive in a shallow, wet grave. Two months before that, she had stood in the cemetery beside the ancient stone church, clutching her mother's hand as the tiny coffin containing her brother's remains was lowered into the ground. All four of her infant brothers had been buried this way. Sent to the warmth and light of Heaven, her mother said. But now, on this miserable, gray October day, as the damp earth weighed impossibly heavy on her chest and forced her to struggle for every breath, Catherine realized her mother had lied. There was no light or warmth There was only the cold, pungent mud and the choking terror that made her heart beat so hard she was certain it would burst."

Eve Silver, Seduced by a Stranger

Come back tomorrow for Apprentice Writer's review of'Seduced by a Stranger'.

Page 1 & Giveaway Announcement

Epigraph:
"The duke made his way out of Hyde Park with his usual loose-limbed, easy gait...Ahead waited his luxuriously appointed townhouse, a snifter of brandy, and not a woman is sight to scold him. In a word, perfection." From The Dulcet Duke"

Chapter 1:
"Sam Carson strolled out of Central Park, a long blade of grass between his teeth... (His humming) petered out on a single flat note of dread. Across the street, Veronica paced in front of his building, looking (angry) enough to vault the six lanes of streaming traffic in a ferocious leap, plant one of her red stiletto heels in his chest, and then fling him under the tires of the nearest SUV , after first, naturally, retrieving her Jimmy Choo."

from 'How to Tame a Modern Rogue' by Diana Holquist
Grand Central Publishing, August 2009


Please come back tomorrow for Apprentice Writer's review of 'How to Tame a Modern Rogue'.

Also, in honor of Book Blogger Appreciation Week, Apprentice Writer will hold her first ever giveaway!

And on Saturday, a Q & A with the lovely Diana Holquist in which she shares her favorite scene from the book, among other things.

Page 1

Regular readers of this space know that Apprentice Writer has a special love for well-done first lines. Here the latest addition to her collection:

"Women have been dressing to entice men ever since Eve fashioned her first fig leaf. Adam was probably irritable after that business with the apple, so Eve would have done her best with some leaves and string."

Eloisa James, "When the Duke Returns"

Notable Quotes

Two favorite quotes from recent reads:

"His eyes were like ping pong balls released underwater."

Amanda Filipacchi, 'Love Creeps'

(Comic Surrealism: The story explores stalking, counter-stalking, pre-emptive stalking....)


"I smelled like a rained-upon, nervous sheep."

Julie Powell, 'Julie & Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously'
(Parallel Memoir: A contemporary woman recharges her life by building a project on a famous chef's book and philosphy; due for imminent cinematic release )


Original, vivid, funny. How Apprentice Writer loves that triple threat.

Notable Quotes: THE DAY AFTER

To write is to live forever.
Tina Fey, presenting the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay

The man who wrote that is dead.
Steve Martin, in response.

You look like a big Canadian flag! Beautiful!
Entertainment reporter Ben Mulroney to Nicole Kidman, dressed in an all-scarlet gown, in a clip from last year advertising coverage of this year's event. Ms. Kidman wore a conspicuously non-red gown last night.

Hugh Jackman was funny and charming in addition to looking fab in a tux and never breaking a sweat or sounding out of breath during all the singing and dancing. No chemistry with Beyonce but what girl didn't want to be Anne Hathaway, swept out of her seat and onto the stage like that? Billy Crystal, David Letterman or Jon Stewart couldn't have done it, Whoopi Goldberg maybe but it just wouldn't have had the same effect.
Apprentice Writer (who can't comment on things like the fairness of awards bestowed or lost, not having seen any of the Big 5, but who did see Wall E and loved that those genuine, emotional moments between robotic leads were highlighted during several montages including 'Romance')

Jai Ho!
Everyone else

Austen Madlibs

Apprentice Writer keeps talking about the authors at 'Risky Regencies'. She really ought to develop a more balanced approach to the plethora of bloggers out in cyberspace, but those Riskies are so darn entertaining.

Today, they invited surfers to participate in a Regency version of the childhood game of Madlibs, where a person fills in the blanks of different types of words and then gets to see how they're all strung together nonsensically, and most of the time, amusingly.

The blanks were:
Abstract Idea / Adverb / Kind of Person / Possession / Member of Household / Degree / Plural Noun / Plural Noun / Group of Humans / Member of Household

Here is how AW's contributions played out:

It is an aloofness morosely acknowledged, that an undertaker in possession of a good stamp collection, must be in want of a creepy uncle.

However well known the false teeth or spittoons of such a man may be on his first entering the New World, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding river rafters, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their distant cousins thrice removed.

(The Gentle Reader will have recognized the famous first paragraph of Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice'.)

Many other funny examples at the site. Take a look:
http://riskyregencies.blogspot.com/2009/01/jane-austen-mad-libs.html

Geographical Writing Procrastination

Do authors who live in tropical locations produce more books than those who live with winter?

Apprentice Writer spent an hour and half shovelling snow today. Fresh air, exercise, toddler playing alongside, fat, drifty snowflakes muffling sounds - all very picturesque, but there goes this morning's writing session. And this is only the start of the shovel-season.

E.E. Cummings thoughts on the matter:

The snow doesn't give a soft, white damn whom it touches.

Notable Quotes

Apprentice Writer adores when an author takes a familiar concept - in this case, dread of what is about to happen - and expresses it in a way she has never encountered before.

From THE VIRTU by Sarah Monette, (dark fantasy, Book 2 in a series)


"The future felt like a herd of buffalo stampeding straight at me, and all I wanted was to get out of the way."

Quote of the Day

From founding member Sarah at http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/:

"I don’t personally examine my own writing process closely because I don’t want to scare it or make it feel shy."

Wise words!