Notable Quotes: 'Huh?' Edition

"Classical musicians were the rock stars of their day, much like the rock stars of today are the notaries public of tomorrow."

Anyone care to explain to Apprentice Writer what, exactly, this means?

In case it's helpful: it was taken from today's Groupon email attempting to entice AW with the featured deal of the day. For the curious: AW chose not to take advantage of it.

Car Culture & the Law

True Story #1:

A mother and small child cross the street on foot to catch a bus and are hit by a car driven by a man who had been drinking, was on painkillers, mostly blind in one eye, and had a previous conviction for a hit-and-run accident. Result?

The mother was convicted of vehicular manslaughter of her toddler and faced the possibility of three years in prison. The car driver meanwhile served six months.

Apprentice Writer imagines that in most places, reaction would be atomic level "WHAT?????"

In Marietta, Georgia, USA, where this story took place, however, this astonishing end result apparently makes sense (at least, to the members of that jury). Looking a little deeper into the situation creates greater unease: the mother and son were black, as are most of the public transportation users in the town described as mostly white and affluent. She was convicted by an all-white jury who held her accountable for not crossing at a designated crosswalk thus "causing" the death. The saving grace was that the judge ultimately transformed her sentence to community service and payment of a fine rather than actual jail time.

AW's thoughts: There is a scene in the old Eddie Murphy movie "Beverley Hills Cop" when the hero is thrown through a plate glass window of a skyscraper lobby by security guards and subsequently arrested by police. When he incredulously asks why, they state that he is accused of trespassing. He is so astonished at the backwardness of this, feeling that he is the clear victim rather than the perpetrator, that he goes on to ask whether a person struck by a car in that town would be arrested for jaywalking.

In the movie, the scene was played for laughs because of the blatant absurdity of the situation. It is chilling to see a true life scenario turn out this way. Has car culture really reached such a level that pedestrians are not only viewed as "the enemy" to drivers, but considered to bear the lion's share of responsibility to ensure that they don't get in the way of "rightful" users of the road (no matter how physically or chemically impaired)? Is this some new variation of social Darwinism, where it is considered someone's own fault if they don't have the means to own a car and that's that?

AW hopes not. She also hopes that this case could become a catalyst for people not just in Marietta to take a look at the economic and ecological cost of getting around in daily life and take action that promotes transportation in a more co-operative rather than confrontational way. Because discouraging rather than encouraging use of public transportation and forms of healthy transport like walking or biking? Is so five steps backward. Especially at time when greenhouse gases and lack of exercise are at crisis levels.

True Story #2: A woman gets in a car, drives to school to drop off her child, swings by the grocery store, and is arrested.

It must have been a stolen car, right? Or she was driving erratically and endangering others? Or didn't have the right papers with her?

Incorrect. It was her family's vehicle, she had a licence, and followed traffic rules. So what did she do wrong? Be born female.

Once again, cue the atomic level "WHAT????" from most places.

In Saudi Arabia, however, where this story took place, this astonishing end result apparently makes sense (at least, to the lawmakers). Manal al-Sharif, a Rosa Parks of sorts, chose to make herself a lightning rod for the rights of women to drive themselves, and posted video of herself defying the ban of female driving to Youtube. This has launched a mini Saudi Arab spring of other women in that country doing likewise, with outrage and threats poured upon them as a result for supposedly threatening Saudi culture, traditions, and morals.

AW's thoughts: Are Saudi men truly such fragile flowers that their self-worth is threatened by a woman going to the grocery store herself? Seriously. How is something so banal emasculating or interpretable as an attack on the superstructure of an entire culture?

It isn't, of course, as is proven by the multitude of countries where women have been driving for generations without the existing culture falling down around everyone's ears. AW hopes that as evidence of the non-catastrophic results of women driving builds, laws will come to reflect that.
Bravo to the women of Saudi who decided that enough was enough, and put themselves forward to create progress for themselves and the next generation.

YA: How Young is Too Young?

In contrast to the dismal news coming out of the publishing industry as a whole these days, young adult fiction seems to buck the trend in a big way. Formerly a type of literature actually intended for the young, it is now being read by vast numbers of people long past their teens. Perhaps because of this dual audience, top-tier YA authors command advances and contracts other authors can only dream of.

Why does Apprentice Writer know this? She attended a seminar conducted by ultra author Kelley Armstrong, whose current paranormal YA series launched her up among that genre stratosphere - a place that should feel comfortable given she landed there before with her adult-oriented paranormal series.

Does this expanding popularity simply mean that stories intended for a youthful audience have wide-ranging appeal?

Could it be that the content of the stories is changing to accommodate more mature readers?

Or is it possible that Apprentice Writer is operating under a wrong assumption of the definition of YA fiction?

AW wants to know because she has started reading novels in which junior apprentice writer #1 is interested so as to have topics of discussion with him. At least, that was the reason to start with. It quickly was joined by another reason, which threatens to overshadow the first. It is called parental policing.

Because sometimes, the content of YA books can be eye-bulging. When she commented on this at the seminar, she learned that

"....A YA book is simply one which features a young protagonist."

Meaning: in terms of content, anything the market will bear goes. Therefore, caveat emptor.

Here's the problem: it is natural for young readers to choose books that feature protagonists who are similar, or slightly older, than themselves in age. But the content of books with a YA label at the library or on YA shelves at the store vary enormously. If it is hard for AW as a adult to figure out if a book may be too mature for a pre-teen or young teen, wouldn't it be hard for the kids to figure out also? Do they really have to get to a part of the book that is too much for them to decide it may not be the best choice (by which time, they may be so invested in the story that they plow on)?

Some examples: MODERATE - MAJOR SPOILERS! BEWARE!

Julie of the Wolves, Jean Craighead George (protagonist: age 13)
This is rightly considered a classic and AW read and enjoyed most of it while at school at a double-digit age. The parts that she didn't enjoy as much - and, more importantly, did not have an adult with whom to talk it through for reasons that are not pertinent to this post - were her first ever exposure to the issues of attempted sexual assault, fetal alcohol syndrome, and domestic violence, which form the catalyst for the protagonist to run away into the wilderness. The bulk of the story has to do with what happens there and how she decides whether to stay 'away' or return to life with people, provides much food for thought, and is in AW's view well worth reading (with her single big criticism being that recovery from sexual attack is depicted way too facile and simplistic a manner). That worthwhile reading, however, should be done by readers old enough to be able to process the stark elements.

She was therefore highly surprised to encounter it on a recommended reading list for junior apprentice #1 in Grade 3 (= age 7-8) . When AW inquired how this title had landed on the recommend list for such young readers without any warning to parents who might not be familiar with the content about the very serious themes, she was informed that it was based purely on evaluation of the difficulty of the vocabulary.


White Cat, Holly Black (protagonist: age 16?)
This is a recent, megapopular YA title that came highly recommended to AW from different sources. It fell into that group of books that results in split personality for her. As an aspiring writer she was impressed with the deceptive ease with which the author unfolded the story about the youngest member of a con-artist family in first-person, present tense mode, something which requires enormous skill and resulted in multiple points where the reader thinks, "Wow, I didn't see that coming.".

At the same time, she questioned whether she would directly encourage junior apprentice writer #1, aged 13, to immerse himself in a world where the protagonist supports himself by exploiting the desire of his classmates to gamble. She decided 'No' when she reached the part where the character's two older brothers beat him up on orders of someone else, and he figures out that not only is this is something they've done to him before but that they willfully manipulate his memory, and have been holding someone hostage in a cage for years. Too dark, too casually violent for AW to recommend it to a new teen, as opposed to him choosing it on his own or through peer word-of-mouth. In such a case, she would not try to discourage his reading it, but make sure to talk to him about it during.


Bleeding Violet, Dia Reeves (protagonist: age 16)
This is the title that AW feels most strongly about, perhaps because it had so much going for it at the outset: biracial heroine (as someone of mixed background herself, AW loves these kinds of stories), rejection issues, bipolar disorder (mental health deserves much more media/literary attention), and the big one: some really deft writing.

By the end of the book, AW had no ambivalent feelings (like with 'White Cat)'. She had problems both as a reader and a parent. Unlike others (to judge by GoodReads reactions), it was not the suicide attempt that gave her pause - since it seems to her that in a book where mental health is one of the central features, it can't really be surprising that suicide might come up. Nor the seriously dysfunctional relationship between mother and child. Though AW had a number of issues with the book, the dealbreaker was when the story crossed the line into full-on horror mode.

AW anticipated this book to be a paranormal story about a mid-range teenager dealing with difficult health and childhood issues (all of this info being plainly available in the back cover blurb). She did not anticipate a teenaged character being not only tortured but made to appear ridiculous as it took place due to inclusion of a sexual element while the protagonist looks idly on, nor that same character being killed in horrific fashion that left body parts dumped at the front door of a family, nor a preschool aged character learning of this.

So why did AW finish the book, the Gentle Reader may ask?

Because she hoped that the story resolution would show some parts having been influenced by the protagonist's altered perception of reality, given her bipolar condition.

Didn't happen.

THE BIG PICTURE:

Does AW think young readers shouldn't read stories with mature themes?

On the contrary. She very much thinks they should. Here's the big IF: They should read them when

a) they have the opportunity to discuss those themes with someone trusted and older, who can guide them past potential nightmares, anxiety, and personal triggers (all of which are very real risks as AW is aware through personal experience and observation), and

b) they have reached a minimum level of developmental maturity for how explicitly those themes are handled in the book. This can vary, depending on the individual parent's views (and given the Grade 3 reading list example, she'd rather go with parent views than teacher views) .

AW's rule of thumb is that it is probably good for the reader to be the same, or very close to, the protagonist's age.

Blanket Labelling of all Books featuring young protagonist with generic YA label = Insanity

Bookstore and library books featuring adult protagonists are not all slapped with a generic A label. They are subdivided into historical, fantasy, science fiction, etc. etc.

Why in the world isn't this done with YA books? If 'Bleeding Violet' had had a horror label attached, AW could have simply left it on the shelf for afficionados of that genre, and everyone would have been happy.

Alternatively, if the front cover and back blurb were more careful to include clues as to content, readers would be better able to sort out which are good personal options and which they should steer clear of.

Is that so hard?

Valentines Day

In honor of all things romantical....

and, P.S. :
Bravo, Egypt. May your love affair with democratic ideals remain unextinguished.

Semi Colon Day

Apprentice Writer loves a well-deployed semi colon.

She is therefore grateful to Signor Aldus Manutius, an Italian printer who way back in 1494 invented the picturesque little symbol that still lends so much drama to sentence rhythm and so much frustration to grammar teachers who one and all feel it is used incorrectly, all the time.

Hooray for punctuation innovations!

And hooray for people who appreciate them, such as comment poster/poet Ozzie Maland over at emdashes.com who wrote

'Ode to a Semi Colon

Thou art the fairest mark of all;
Thy graceful curve and stellar dot
Would e'en the singing lark enthrall:
Who'd spurn thy use had better not.'

Apprentice Writer feels that half a century should not have to pass by before more punctuation is invented. For example, she thinks it would be great to have a symbol to deploy instead of a regular-type question mark in situations where the question is intended rhetorically, and another where the question is intended sarcastically.

Since the upside down question mark is already claimed by Spanish-speakers for standard issue questions, perhaps a sideways question mark? A reverse question mark followed by a regular one to form a question mirror image?

m/

2011 Predictions

Predictions of 100% certainty:

In AW's home: Spongebob Squarepants popularity will hold steady, Disney Princesses will gain ground (perplexing fatherly onlookers who thought full saturation had been reached), and lobby groups promoting the entitlement of 14 year olds to choose entertainment completely independently will increase their pressure tactics.

In the literary world: More YA, less zombies, same amount of handwringing over the precarious future of the industry, continued insidious advance of true axis of (addictive) evil: bookstores joined with coffeeshops.

Predictions of less than 100% certainty:

In AW's home: she will keep all her new years resolutions.

In the literary world: Barring respective internal innovation, Facebook and Twitter reach a plateau (as shown by lukewarm reception of first print novel in tweets by Theresa Medeiros), paving the way for emergence of some new social media titan. Blogging will continue to hold steady among those cyberati who like online connecting in a more extensive, less commericialized way than seems to have become the case for many FBers and tweeters. Readers who leapt upon dedicated ereaders when they first appeared will now keep their eye on ipad developments to ponder the question of when to make the jump.

And authors of every subgenre everywhere will continue to ask the question:

How in the name of Gutenburg did J.K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer do it?????

Looking Back: 2010 Entertainment

It is The Law! in Bloglandia that bloggers must create end of year lists. If you don't, they send your posts off to black holes in cyberspace and give all your contact information to spammers and trolls. Or something.

Being an upstanding and lawabiding cybercitizen, here Apprentice Writer's EOY list in no particular order.

Most Enjoyable Historical Debut: Rose Lerner, 'In For a Penny'. Sympathetic characters that not only grow but do so believably, and a plot that refreshingly is as much about the group of people surrounding the two main characters as it is about those characters themselves. Ominously, Ms. Lerner is a Dorchester author and will see her follow-up book distributed as ebook only rather than print. Hopefully she has gained enough presence not to suffer unduly from Dorchester's 'reorganization'.

Most Disappointing Junior Movie: Toy Story 3. Way too much tension for the target demographic, too few laughs, this was Disney/Pixar making a grab for the 3D cash cow.

Book that Started Well But Could Have Been So Much More: Audrey Niffenegger, 'Her Fearful Symmetry'. A Ph.D. who doesn't toss aside his more snoozeworthy dissertation subject when the real thing comes along? An undertaker with no curiosity about Very Odd requests? A cemetary bigwig who witnesses something Impossible and says only 'How improper!' (or something to that effect) and that's it? Suspension of disbelief broken to the degree that the book was finished purely for the sake of finding out what happened to infinitely more appealing subplot characters.

Most Enjoyable Movie Seen This Year but Released Last: Sherlock Holmes.
RDJ and Jude Law in top form - come on! What's not to like?

Most Thoughtful Movie Seen This Year but Released Last: Up in the Air

Book that Managed to Live Up to Its Hype: Kathrynn Stockett, 'The Help'

Most Ongoing Guilty Reality TV Pleasures: Top Chef, Next Iron Chef, Amazing Race, So You ThinkYou Can Dance (US & Canada)

Most Missing-in-Action-in-Canada Guilty Reality TV Pleasure: Project Runway

Most Eagerly Anticipated Books Released This Year But Inexplicably Haven't Gotten Around to Yet (AKA longest Category Title, AKA Most Grammatically Incorrect Category Title):
Dark Road to Darjeeling, Deanna Raybourn (historical mystery, Book 4 in a series)
The Iron Duke, Meljean Brook (steampunk, Book 1 in a series)
Lightborn, Alison Sinclair (dark fantasy, Book 2 in a trilogy)
Towers of Midnight, Brandon Sanderson & Robert Jordan (high fantasy, Book 13 and second-to-last in a series)
Major Pettigrew's Last Stand, Helen Simonson (literary fiction, standalone)

Worst Movie: For a long time, the most likely contender was From Paris with Love , which offended cinematically and geopolitically in equal measure. John Travolta channels old Schwarzenegger movies by shooting wildly all over the place while in various forms of motion and having pretty much every bullet hit a target while scads of adversaries miss every time despite dispensing a revolution's worth of ammo. More oddly, EVERY SINGLE ONE of the vast quantities of people he kills are members of visible minority groups. Considering how often parts of Paris have burned due to racial tensions in recent years, this was an astonishingly unfortunate visual image. Does France really need cinematic entertainment that sends the message that visible minorities are criminal scum that deserve eradication by over-the-hill megalomaniacs?
Apprentice Writer thinks not.

Then along came Baby on Board. This utter waste of celluloid was mean-spirited, distasteful, and most of all 100% unfunny. AW is entirely unfamiliar with Jerry O'Connell's previous work (who, by the way, wins this year's award for Worst Haircut for a Male Character) and had only seen 'Bowfinger' (which she really enjoyed) of Heather Graham's work, so she can't tell if this film is representative. But she has been a fan of John Corbett's since his 'Northern Exposure' days and was sorely disappointed to see him as, perhaps, the biggest culprit in this execrable mess. Mr. Corbett - what has happened to you??

Most Unexpectedly Fun Movie: 'Killers'. After the drudgery of 'The Ugly Truth' (Katherine Heigl and Gerrard Butler have NO chemistry), 'The Bounty Hunter' (Jennifer Aniston and Gerrard Butler have NO chemistry), and 'Love Happens' (Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhard have NO chemistry), AW was not expecting a whole lot from this Katherine Heigl/Ashton Kutcher vehicle but she actually really liked it. Maybe the problem with the others was Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston?

Most Promising Book Currently Reading: Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N.K. Jamesin. Holy Gripping Storyline, Batman - this fantasy gives new meaning to the terms 'multi-layered' and 'don't treat the reader like s/he has no intelligence'. Beautifully written, but wow do you ever have to pay attention to what's going on. And it's book 1 of a trilogy, so if the beginning momentum holds up, it looks to be a promising start to the new reading year!

GENTLE READER - HAVE YOU MADE YOUR LIST?

Yes, Please

First Impression: Ho Hum
Second Impression: Where have you been all my life??????????

One supposes the happy bookcase owner would have to select very heavy books else they'll all go flying whenever the secret chamber is revealed....

Book Grading Systems

Gentle Reader: How do you grade your reading material?

There are many systems out there. The minimalist thumbs up or down, the maximalist 0-100%, and everything in between: 0-7 colors of the rainbow, 0-10 punctures of the vampire's fangs, empty dish - full banana split with cherry on top, etc. etc.

Some reviewers are ruthless in sharing their true thoughts about a novel's flaws, and occasionally, it's strengths - which would seem to render the rare praise they do bestow all the more valuable. The Simon Cowells of book reiviewing, to use a metaphor well past its sell-by date.

Some reviewers seem to follow the infamous instructions issued by some authors who shall remain nameless that reviews MUST be 'nice', because mentioning perceived flaws is 'mean' and mean, apparently, is bad (which would seem to diminish the usefulness of these reviews as they tend to be non-stop, all out gushery). The Paula Abduls of book reviewing, to use a metaphor even further past its sell-by date.

Who does that leave to be the moderate Randi Jacksons? Well, people like Apprentice Writer.

As the regular Gentle Reader will know, Apprentice Writer doesn't assign a rank to the reviews posted here. She is however an avid Goodreads hound, which operates on a system of 1 (did not like) to 5 (it was amazing) stars. Here is how it pans out:

3 stars ("liked it") is AW's default rating. She chooses to see this not as wishy-washy, but logical: she woulnd't pick up the book to read if she didn't expect to like it.

This means, a book really has to work at going up to 4 ("really liked it") or down to 2 ("it was OK") from that 'safe' spot. And it has to be spectacularly good or horrendous to move to 1 or 5. which she bestows with great care.

Let us draw a veil over the atrocities that must take place for 1 star to be bestowed. But what, exactly, does a book have to do to get those rare 5 stars?

It has to satisfy all these conditions:

- Great story, with sense of true satisfaction at the end
- Great characters and/or characterization (these are not always the same thing)
- Impressive writing that sweeps her along
- At least one line that is brilliant enough to be included in her quotation collection
- Must be sure that will want to re-read it in future.

The last condition is one that many books that made it all the way up to 4.5 stars stumble over, falling right before the finish line. For the record, here a cross-section of titles on AW's Keeper shelf:

Crocodile on the Sandbank, Elizabeth Peters (humorous historical mystery; first in a series, set in Egpyt)

The Silver Pigs, Lindsey Davis (humorous historical mystery; first in a series, set in Imperial Rome)

Life of Pi, Yann Martel (contemporary literary fiction)

Mr. Impossible, Loretta Chase (historical romance)

White Oleander, Janet Fitch (contemporary literary fiction)

Lessons in French, Laura Kinsale (historical romance)

Good Grief, Lolly Winston (contemporary literary fiction)

Fall on Your Knees, Anne Marie MacDonald (contemporary literary fiction)

The Big Over Easy, Jasper Fforde (alternate reality mystery)

Private Arrangements, Sherry Thomas (historical romance)

The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kinsolver (contemporary literary fiction)

The Sweentess at the Bottom of the Pie, Alan Bradley (mystery)

A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry (literary fiction)


Gentle Reader - How about you?

Sequel Fatigue: SPECULATIVE FICTION

Apprentice Writer is suffering a reader ailment.

She 'discovered' the Urban Fantasy genre some time ago. If she has understood correctly, stories in this niche involve no-nonsene protagonists who deal with decidedly non-everyday realities by discovering or unleashing their super-human talents. As a rule, tremendously creative world-building is involved, and it is this aspect that usually draws AW's interest - as opposed to straight Paranormal tales, which also involve non-regular humanoid beings, but seem more narrowly focused on the romantic attraction between characters. That isn't enough to hold AW's interest; not helped by the fact that she is not a vampire-, werewolf-, or zombie person.

AW has now read enough speculative fiction & UF novels to discover a pattern: being highly impressed with the creativity of a debut book, and then reading the second and having lukewarm rather than excited anticipation for the third.

To wit:

Gail Carriger's 'Parasol Protectorate'
(Victorian steampunk romance: female protagonist is soulless)
Enjoyed the humor and contrast between stuffy society rules and outrageous situations in the first a lot, liked the second but was more irritated by author style idiosyncracies.
Read the 3rd? Yes, but more because of weak resistance to a beautiful cover than anything else.

Stacia Kane's 'Unholy Ghosts'
(Dystopia: female protagonist is a government-employed witch)
Loved the carefully thought out world of the first, second held AW's interest but developed opinion that the series is better described as horror than UF.
Read the 3rd? Undecided. AW is really not a horror person. Yet, anti-hero secondary character is compelling.

Ilona Andrews' 'Kate Daniels'
(Alternate universe: female protagonist is an uber-trained killing machine)
Loved the energy and dry protagonist attitude in the first and second, both elements still good in third but became irritated by third new group of antagonists introduced in as many books with not enough depth of understanding of where they came from, how they work, why they're such fanatical opponents. Gives the series Jackie Chan syndrome, i.e. no one cares that the bits in between fight scenes range from silly to absurd, because they're just empty filler for the main event.
Read the 4th? Yes, but not rushing out to get it.

Seanan MacGuire's 'October Daye'
(Urban fantasy; female protagonist is half fey, able to move between human and fairy worlds)
Delighted with exquisite world-building and alternate races in the first, which was still good in second, but became seriously irritated with heroine herself.
Read the 3rd? Undecided.

Claire Delacroix's 'Guardians of the Republic' (Dystopia, female protagonists are members of different social classes in a totalitarian big-brother society)
Loved the worldbuilding and suspense of the first, felt somewhat dissatisfied when the nature of the story dwelt heavily on relationship of protagonists in second where this reader really wanted more detail of the society.
Read the 3rd? Yes, since the female protagonist promises to be the most interesting yet.

Jennifer Estep's 'Elemental Assassins' (Urban Fantasy; female protagonist is an assasin with magical ability)
First and second held reader's interest, yet somehow, not inciting a 'When is the third one out?' reaction.
Read the 3rd? No strong opinion either way.

Then there are the series in which AW liked the first and yet hasn't moved on to the second in the series:
Kat Richardson, 'Greywalker' (Urban Fantasy; heroine has capacity to see and move in next world after a brief period with no vital signs)
Devon Monk, 'Allie Beckstrom' (Urban Fantasy; heroine has magical ability)
In these two cases, the matter is actually one of author skill that may be too good - the protagon ists' stuggles with headaches and nausea, as the price they pay for their abilities, seems to induce same in this reader.

Gentle Reader: What's your advice? Should AW grit her teeth and keep going? Are any of the next in these series not-to-be-missed keepers? Or should AW simply give UF a break and go to historical fiction 0r mysteries for a year?

/m

Anatomy of DNF

Apprentice Writer continues her dissection of what makes a book unfinishable for her.

The latest premature goodbye was bid to a contemporary romance, the second book of an author who maintains a smart and likable online presence, and whose books received a lot of buzz and very healthy publicity push. AW didn't attempt the first, partially due to hating the cover and partially due to lukewarm reviews, but the second cover looked good and the premise was promising.

Why did she stop?

1. Three uses of the word 'sardonic' in the first dozen pages
= author not living up to job requirement to impress with deft vocabulary.

2. Multiple references in same amount of space to how good-looking the hero is
= we get it already.

3. One paragraph about the heroine's notice of the hero's eyes, followed immediately by another paragraph on same
= proof of line editors being sacrificed to budget cuts in publishing houses?

4. The coup de grace: it is small-town girl heroine's first night in New York City, where she knows nothing and no-one but a colleague she met just that day who has brought her to a bar, where they soon become separated. She meets the hero, and without knowing ANYTHING about him (even his name) she agrees to go home with him - without even having the courtesy to inform her colleague that she's leaving, simply instructing the bartender to pass on the message
= in AW's world, this is not the bartender's job, and this is truly a TSTL heroine. AW will forgive many character flaws, but not stupidity on such astronomical level.

And that is how this book became a wallbanger.

Gentle Reader, was AW too harsh? Justified? What led to your latest DNF?

Serious Side of Comedy: Online Etiquette

Social media seem to thrive on the ebb and flow of controversy. A recent cyberstorm made Apprentice Writer wonder about the nature of publicly being called to account for bad behavior, AKA shaming.

The Nutshell: A writer sent a literary agent a query. It clearly didn't follow guidelines, so a polite and even kindly form rejection was sent in reply. The writer took this rejection poorly, as expressed in two follow-up messages that were, shall we say, unfortunate on multiple levels. Whereupon the agent blogposted the correspondence, including the writer's name, resulting in a very long thread of blogcomments more or less universally deriding the writer. One commenter posted in haiku form which apparently led the agent to announce a haiku contest on Twitter, with a hashtag that included the writer's name, resulting in numerous mocking tweets and retweets. At least one author/blogger posted in a deliberately general manner (without any names or specifics that would allow identification) about discomfort with apparent misperception about a publishing hiearchy (unpublished writers below published writers below agents below publishers) and how this could cause writers to hesitate about speaking out when they see something with which they disagree. The agent posted a comment on expressed assumption that the author's post referred to her case, again specifed the name of the writer, and defended her choice to respond as she did due to (if AW has understood correctly) conviction that the writer's unprofessional responses constituted a direct attack on herself as well as her signed writers which justified counterattack.

OK, admittedly that was rather a large nut to fit in one shell. But here's the question:

What do you think of it all?

Here is what AW posted at the above-mentioned author/blogger's site:

"I'm still figuring out what I think of the whole thing, but chief among my reactions is - taken aback. There is no question that the response the writer made to the form rejection was unfortunate on multiple levels,

BUT

to me, his messages almost had something of a feel of the aspiring contestants in the audition rounds of reality shows that are not only deluded about the level of their talent, but give the impression they may have mental health issues going on as well. I have no knowledge about this particular writer, but my discomfort with how the online deluge mushroomed - haiku contest attached to a person's actual full name? - is because it feels like a colossally imbalanced situation if there is any possibility the rejected writer is dealing with health challenges. (I repeat: I have NO CLUE whether it's the case or not).

Wouldn't it be wise - or even, kind - to allow for this possibility before publishing names involved? Wouldn't the educational benefit (learning how NOT to correspond in the publishing world) have been achieved by sharing the messages without name attached?

I'm confuzzled about it all so I'd welcome thoughts."

Page 1: ISLAND OF SWANS

"Perched uncomfortably on a low stool in the drafty sitting room, the young girl stared miserably at the scrap of embroidery lying forlornly on her lap. Refusing to look at her mother, Jane Maxwell angrily stabbed her needle into the clumsily stitched letters that proclaimed 'She is a Joy Who Doth Obey'.

'Jane!' said Lady Maxwell crossly, pointing to the threads that ran at decidedly odd angles across the soiled fabric. 'Tis impossible to sew properly if you dinna stretch the piece upon your frame. You'll take out every word, missy,' she said in an exasperated tone, 'until you do it perfectly!' Voicing her reproach at her ten-year-old daughter's failure to master yet another of the feminine arts, Lady Maxwell retrieved Jane's crumpled sampler and sighed audibly as she examined it more closely."

The first paragraphs of 'Island of Swans' capture a theme that will run through Jane Maxwell's life; a lifelong struggle to determine whether to submit to the will of others as was expected of daughters and wives in that period of time, or to decide the best course of action for herself.

They also may be a sign of how writing fashions change over time. Ten adverbs ending with a 'ly' suffix spread over two paragraphs. From her experience with writing contests, Apprentice Writer wonders whether an editor looking at this proportion would bring a red pencil into play, though the editor who first published the novel in 1993 clearly had no issue with it.

Please come back tomorrow for review and giveaway!

m.

Austen Critique, via Contemporary Historical Author

Austen fever shows no signs of abating. Neo-Austen titles are not decreasing, and now go further than extrapolations on how characters fared after the original 'The End', or'What If? explorations different forks in the road (Apprentice Writer is currently reading one such, and will review shortly). Most recently buzzed about titles branched out into truly unexpected territory. Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, anyone? Must a hostess observe regular etiquette when having afternoon tea with zombies?

Amid all this fanfare, Apprentice Writer was much entertained by a recent Austen description. It was offered by a historical character written by a contemporary author in a Victorian setting. Convoluted, but funny. Take a look:

"I went in search of Allessandro. I finally ran him to ground in the library, gamely working his way through 'Pride and Prejudice'. I nodded to the book. 'How are you enjoying Jane Austen?'

He waggled his hand from side to side. 'She is a little silly, I think.'

Now I was more certain than ever about my decision. I could not love a man who did not love Jane Austen. 'The great Duke of Wellington though her the greatest literary talent in all of England.'

He smiled politely. 'Perhaps she improves upon second reading."

Deanna Raybourn, 'Silent in the Sancturary', p. 497

Whither Romantic Social Media?

Recently, the following rmantic fiction grogs (group blogs) gave notice of final curtain:

The Soapbox Queens (group of authors)

Romance Vagabonds (group of aspiring authors/readers)

Love is an Exploding Cigar (group of authors)

Romance Novel TV (group of reader/reviewers and guest authors)

In the blogosphere's natural course of events, blogs come and blogs go. Nothing new about that.

What struck Apprentice Writer this time was the question: what led these faithful bloggers to close shop, and more interestingly (is that a word?) - have they really departed to have more time for writing or other personal projects, or is this another sign of the rising dominance of the almighty Twitterverse? Have blogs and grogs concentrating on, say, fantasy, mystery, or litfic gone through similar changes?

*ponders*

Generation Gap. Part II

Further to the 'apps' method of figuring out which side of the generation divide you are on -

Apprentice Writer is much struck with further dividing lines.

Gentle Reader - do you TWIT? E-READ? CELL?

AW suspects her own "No" answer may need to be reassessed soon. Her Very Good Reasons why she has not embraced these tidal-wave technologies:

Twitter: avoiding due to fear of yet another addictive time-suck
E-read: dedicated e-reader is low on 'most urgent purchase' list and threatens to be hard on the eyes
Cellular phone as message centre: AW's cellphone is of the very basic variety, used for actual speech (yes, it's true - cellphones can be used for talking to another person, not just texting/surfing/games/movies/camera!)

Yet signs of being left behind, like an LP in a cassette world (wait; that's too old) -
like a walkman in a discman world (still too old) -
like napster in an itunes world (getting better) -
have conspired to poke a hole in AW's "comfortable-with-my-level-of-technology-thank-you-very-much' bubble. To wit:

- big author news is broken on Twitter rather than the blogosphere,
- reader contests are held exclusively on Twitter,
- some bloggers seem on a trajectory of decreased time blogging and increased time tweeting
- Twitter shows itself far above a shallow time-killer by profoundly affecting the way people protest totalitarian regimes
- the longstanding slow simmer between romance writers published in print vs. e-presses reaches a full boil with a recent statement from the president of Romance Writers of America and perceived-to-be exclusionary policies for the 'big' industry awards
- Dorchester issued an open call for unpublished authors to submit serial chapters in a contest with a publishing contract as prize, with reader voting to take place via cellphone.

The writing is on the wall.

Question for Urban Fantasy Readers

What is the difference between 'magic' (which Apprentice Writer first learned about in fairy tales) and 'magick' (which seems to be the type practiced between pages these days)?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Lightning Crankypants Views and Reviews

Apprentice Writer is not feeling her usual sunny self. Gentle Reader, you are warned. Random crankypants thoughts on life, the universe, and everything:

The Other Boleyn Girl: It is probably not a a good thing when the most believable performances in a movie are given by the period costumes and settings. (*Sorrowfully*) - Eric Bana, what has happened to you?

Mamma Mia: Stage production (Toronto) - 100% fabulous. Movie - 100% hot mess. And that is saying something as AW is usually firmly in the Meryl Streep/Colin Firth camp.

So You Think You Can Dance: Season after season, couple after couple is felled by the sheer bad luck of being assigned a Broadway routine, more often than not coupled with stupid costumes. Vitellio and Asuka, two fantastic dancers, endured the judges criticisms in silence rather than point their fingers at the choreographer and costume department, and may well end up the first two voted off the show through very little fault of their own (those lifts! that astonishing jump!). No justice.

Where Have all the Line Editors gone?: In the last week, AW came across the following excerpts;
"....it's an interesting phenomena...." No, it's not. Phenomenon, perhaps, but phenomena involve more than one instance.
"...milleniums..." Especially sigh-worthy because it wasn't spoken by a Medieval or Regency character, who could be forgiven for unfamiliarity with a term so far removed from their own time period. It was an apocalyptic character. If an urban fantasy heroine whose story takes place near the intersection of two millenia doesn't know the correct plural, who would? And how does this not get caught by spellcheck?
"....she worked with various mediums..." This female historical artist character clearly aimed for notoriety, since she paints with people who have the ability to contact the spirit world rather than the regular artistic media.

and, since no gripe session is complete without a nod to the weather -
Climate: what's up with 'summerly cool' temparatures (as the weather channel recently forecast for the day)? AW's garden furniture has seen zero occupancy so far and we're mid-June. It will be a long, long summer with the junior apprentice writers if they have to stay inside.

Gentle Reader - Share an encouraging thought. Please. We beg you.

Generation Gap

Presenting Apprentice Writer's rapidfire, 100% accurate, no-fail test to determine on which side of the generation divide you belong:

What do you think of when you hear "apps"?

If you answered with anything in the field of gastronomy (restaurants, appetizers, expensive yet unsatisfying snacks, etc.) -
Congratulations! You may now consider yourself aged.

If you answered with anything in the field of technology (cellphone, computer, applications, expensive and unneccesary little thumb-driven addictions, etc.) -
Congratulations! You may now consider yourself non-aged.

Apprentice Writer and her son take credit for discovering this miracle dividing process. We leave it the Gentle Reader's imagination as to how the results fell out.

Reader Eccentricities

In a theoretical literary world, books would be judged solely on such factors as originality, quality of prose, believable characters, drama....

The Gentle Reader gets the point.

In practice, books are filtered through each reader's unique mental baggage, causing potential emotional over- or under-reactions . A parent of a child with Asperger's Syndrome might react to a book like Jennifer Ashley's 'The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie ' in a different way than another parent. A person whose family has been touched by suicide might read Nick Hornby's 'A Long Way Down' very differently than someone for whom the issue is distant.

Those are no-brainers - anyone can understand why mileage would vary when a large, real-life issue is involved..

Then we come to the differences in reaction Apprentice Writer calls micro-baggage.

Tiny idiosyncratic things that wield disproportionate power in how the reader sees the book overall. Pet peeves and preferences that act like lightning bolts, instantly upping or downing the general likability. One of the reviewers at 'Dear Author', for example, talked about how a book will start out at a 'B' grade before even any words have been consumed if the heroine is Asian, and then increase or decrease in final mark depending on how the story goes. Apprentice Writer's example of an automatic 'upper' is when the story or parts of it is set in an unusual location.

Then there is the converse. A blogger whose name/site is lost to the sands of time (doesn't that sound much better than 'Apprentice Writer's lacklustre memory'?) wrote about a book starting out with the odds against it when the heroine is described as not only red-headed but temparamental. Too great of a cliche for her to overcome.

Apprentice Writer's hangup - when authors use words incorrectly. These are people, after all, for whom "vocabulary, use of" is the main tool of the trade.

It seems natural to expect that authors would apply words with more skill, grace and knowledge that the average person.

Why then,

- .....is the term 'nauseous' (i.e. nausea causing) used so often in place of 'nauseated' (i.e. suffering from nausea)? Apprentice Writer can't count how many times she's read variations of a character announcing he/she feels nauseous. Why someone - especially a heroine in hot pursuit of a hero, or vice versa - would want people to know they have the power to make others sick to their stomach is a mystery.

- Are there so many authors who seem unaware of the existence of the word 'whom'?

- ....are plurals so difficult? The word 'phenomena' (plural) is used for a single instance of something in many, many books, rather than the singular 'phenomenon'. Granted, this is an exceptional case - but so is cactus/cacti, which most people seem to know, and which would have much less opportunity for book usage than 'phenomenon'. Same applies to millenia (plural)/ millenium (singular).

This is the kind of thing that bats Apprentice Writer out of the story and makes it very difficult to find her way back in. Once incorrect use rears its head, the whole rest of the story is colored. Because: even if the author was unaware - what about the author's authorly critique partners? What about those infamous copy editors publishing houses employ to terrorize manuscripts with their fine-tooth comb?

It is true that these are nitpicky sorts of things; yet over the years it has become clear that they have a uniquely strong effect on this reader. Since she recognizes that no-one is perfect, that no writer can command any language entirely, and that she should not cheat herself out of the benefits that may wait in the rest of the story, Apprentice Writer is trying to dial down the power of these hot-button kinds of words. She hopes self-awareness is the first step to recovery.

Gentle Reader - What about you? Any reading peeves or preferences?