Quote of the Day: Stephanie Dolgoff

And because of the instant recognition Apprentice Writer felt when she read it, another quote from Stephanie Dolgoff's ruminations on the progress of time taken from the chapter 'The Comfort vs. Style Smackdown' :


"...finding clothes that stylishly bridge the gap between too young and middle-aged frump is not simple. When I look at what other Formerlies on the street are wearing, I mostly see three categories:

1) Those trying too hard to look younger than they are. I'm thinking if your C-section scar is visible over your jeans, they are too low...

2) Those who seem to think they are being punished and so are only permitted to shop at Dress Barn..

3) Those who don't appear to be trying at all. I respect these opt-outers, but I hope they're choosing to live off the fashion grid in defiance of child exploitation or because they prefer to cultivate their inner selves than because they have nothing but sweats in their closet. My friend Kelly is an opt-outer most days of the week. She drives a mini-van, wears Uggs and even worn pjs under her coat to drop off her kids at school, 'a veritable trifecta of mom-letting-go offences,' as she puts it. She has decided to believe that she is one of those people, like incognito movie stars and models who look good wearing a mesh laundry bag, who is so fabulous she can pull it off. It works for the three weeks of the month she's not about to have her period. 'Then for one unholy week you are just a fat, middle-aged, angry woman sitting in a mini-van,' she says. "

As the Gentle Reader may have guessed, AW drives a mini-van. *sigh*

Quote of the Day: Stephanie Dolgoff

Apprentice Writer has reached the age when the way she feels in her head is mysteriously at odds with the number of the candles that should be on the cake. 'Should be', because she has long since disallowed something so distasteful as mathematically correct flames on her cake.

As such, the non-fiction collection of short stories in "My Formerly Hot Life: Dispatches from Just the Other Side of Young" called out to her. They also made her laugh in rueful recognition, such as the author's description of that exquisite torture known as 'shopping for new jeans'.

"...I needed jeans, badly.

The ones that fit were clearly out of style.

The ones that didn't (yeah, no, they hadn't gotten too loose) had a nasty habit of dialing my Blackberry whenever I carried it in my back pocket. I'd get home after a long day at work and find three messages on my machine from my own ass...."

She goes on to describe the disparity between the labels of 'young' brand jeans, and the reality of her own current life, and lists the kinds of brand names that she would buy:

"Solvent and Still Viable
Good Credit Score Jeans
Call Me 'Ma'am' at Your Own Risk Jeans
Nothing to Prove Jeans
So Over It Jeans
You Just Wait Jeans
Talk to Me When You're 30 Jeans
Love That Lycra Jeans
Been There, Done That (Twice) Jeans"

Ha!


The author has a 'Formerly' blog here.

Quote of the Day

Apprentice Writer grows ever more irritated by cliched similes and metaphors. She has been forced to endure far, far too many instances of garments "...fitting like a second skin" and men moving "....like a jungle cat". These kinds of descriptions are not only tedious, but inept as well since they can so easily be interpreted away from where the author wants to go. Frex:

Like a second skin could mean that the garment hangs in wrinkly, saggy folds. So if that's not what the author meant, s/he would have to write "....fit like a second skin of someone not yet past their thirties and who hadn't lost a lot of weight suddenly and who didn't possess longlasting signs of childbirth across their abdomen". That would be more accurate but a little wordy.

Similarly, the description of moving "...like a jungle/large cat" always makes AW think "As opposed to a mountain/small cat, because everyone knows that jungle and large cats are silent and graceful whereas mountain and small cats are leadfooted klutzes."

What all this means is that AW is utterly delighted to come across a fresh new description. Bonus marks if it is funny. Allow her to present the quote of the day from Terry Pratchett's 'Going Postal':

"His beard looked like he'd been interrupted while eating a hedgehog."

Ha!

NonBook Reviews: 'The Deal' & 'Couples Retreat'

The Toronto International Film Festival is in full swing.

As always, there is much nuanced analysis about which pic having it's world premier (or almost premier) will be the next Oscar darling (odds favor 'Black Swan'). As always, the closest Apprentice Writer will get to the screenings or megawatt stars will be perusal of the daily snark celebrity photo spreads.

Memo to A-listers: Hey, we know we're not Venice or Cannes. That does not mean it is cool to wear tees and jeans for your walk down the Toronto red carpet (looking at you, Ewan McGregor), frocks fit for library browsing (Helen Mirren), or outfits that could double for duty as a bank teller (too many to mention). At least we can rely on Nicole Kidman to demonstrate how glam lipstick and really well-groomed eyebrows are done.

In the spirit of cinema, some thoughts on two comedies. Yes, AW is aware that these are one and two years old respectively, and yes, that is the promptitude with which she typically sees films. Deal with it. She has.

THE DEAL
2008, Directed by Steven Schachter

AW had never heard of this little gem before stumbling across it late one night when she had rare monopoly of the remote control. She's been a fan of William H Macy ever since 'Fargo' ("You're darn tootin!"). Comprised of 2 parts rumpled mess, 2 parts guileless blue eyes, and six parts chutzpah, he is perfectly cast here as the formerly famous movie producer who is so far down and out that he has nothing to lose when a screenplay and news of an action star's religious conversion almost literally fall into his lap on the same day.

As a lark, he sets out to see how far he can work the Hollywood system in creating a movie out of nothing. Playing off anything and anyone who comes his way, including studio exec Meg Ryan, he makes the viewer continually question how far off from reality many of the 'behind the scenes' scenes really are. AW had no expectations going in and ended up really enjoying it, with the exception of a bit that smacked too strongly of men casually exploiting the power of female sexuality for their own purposes.

Who should see it? Fans of quiet humor, quirk, people who liked the idea of 'Get Shorty' but thought it was too over the top.

COUPLES RETREAT
2009, Directed by Peter Billingsley

AW is not a big fan of Vince Vaughan or Jon Favreau. She is, however, a big fan of Jason Bateman and Jean Reno (Gentle Reader, if you have not see 'The Professional', please: stop reading and go do it now). Throw in geography that is probably on the bucket list of the majority of people (AW cannot believe that she is alone in this), and the interesting premise of 'How do long married couples stay together?' in contrast to the usual 'How do couples get together in the first place?' and the balance tipped in favor of watching. Was it worthwhile?

The answer to that question can probably be divided along gender lines. For AW, the gymnastic extremes to which suspension of disbelief needed to be stretched, the ludicrous difference between the ultra fitness of all the women in the movie (MUCH displayed) contrasting with the average fitness cross-section of the men, the broadness of the humor, the unneccesarily cutesy details (each couple wearing different colored Mao suits during counseling sessions - Why????), the shallow/juvenile quality of several solutions to arising challenges - all combined to eclipse the blissful daze of looking at French Polynesia. Mr. AW on the other hand didn't seem to have a problem.

Who should see it? Fans of loud humor, people who like Vince Vaughan or Jon Favreau films, viewers who don't demand too much plausibility from their stories.


But does it make you laugh?
The Deal: YES
Couples Retreat: NO for AW, YES for Mr. AW

Laughter Reviews : HOLLY'S INBOX: SCANDAL IN THE CITY

HOLLY'S INBOX: SCANDAL IN THE CITY
Holly Denham
Sourcebooks, August 2010

Premise: After finally getting her man and a chance at a great promotion, London working girl comes close to losing it all due to scheming colleagues, misunderstandings in love, and eccentric family members.

Cover: Title- Corresponds to Book 1's title and is a tongue-in-cheek nod to that chicklit juggernaut on this side of the Atlantic: 'Sex and the City'. Art - in shades of girly purple, with iconic cartoony figures and a cover girl pose that says 'talking to friends while at work', there is no mistaking this as anything other than neo-chicklit. Altogether, this cover gets full marks for accuracy.

What Works: Apprentice Writer enjoyed the original 'Holly's Inbox', the aptly named Bridget Jones for the e-generation, and found to her happy surprise that she enjoyed this one just as much if not more due to Holly's increased level of maturity and take-chargeness.

For those unfamiliar with them, these books are written entirely in epistolatory form similar to the original Bridget Jones, however instead of a diary the medium is email. This is one the one hand brilliant, allowing as it does for the reader to 'see' from multiple viewpoints (the heroine, the love interest, the parents, the colleagues, the rival, the open and secret admirers) rather than just the single one of the diary-owner. It is also, on the other hand, an incredibly risky thing for an author to do. Anyone who has ever surfed the internet and witnessed the almost daily flaming explosions of people becoming vastly offended by something someone else posted and responding in ever-escalating kind knows that it is very, very difficult to consistently get one's true message across in the truncated form so beloved of blog commentators and texters. Without the context of body language, voice tone, volume, and chance to backtrack if it looks like someone misunderstood, as happens in personal conversation and in 'regular' novels, there is a tremendous amount of room for faulty communication - most especially with the rapidfire exchange made possibly by today's technology. It would have been much harder to have a flamewar in previous times, when the hotheaded remarks were tempered to the eternities it took for post to go back and forth.

Yet, in what is no small accomplishment, the author pulls it off. The reader gets a clear sense of the underlying personality and motivations of the characters through the flavor and content of their writing style. And in what may be the most remarkable writerly accomplishment of them all, the writer does so while being male. Holly Denham is the pen name of a man who runs a temp agency (if AW has understood correctly). AW learned this after the fact, and did not suspect while reading Book 1. Well played!

AW was also much entertained by how the author worked a real-life, much publicized public relations snafu into the story. Further details cannot be shared due to spoilery; suffice it to say that it made AW laugh when she heard about it in real life, and it made her laugh again when she recognized it here. What she did not think about at the time of the original incident was how the consequences would play out for the staff involved, and the possibilities of that fallout are explored here.

What Doesn't: The antagonist was a bit over the top for this reader's taste, and resolution to the romantic problems felt a tad rapid (though not entirely implausible in method.) Wanted to see a little more grovelling on the love interest's part after putting Holly through such a horrible emotional wringer. That's about it. Not much to grouch about in a full-length novel, and did not detract from overall enjoyment.

Overall: An entertaining, satisfying romp taken straight from headlines and zeitgeist of the new millenium, well worth the time for any fan of chicklit or romantic comedy, and readers who liked Book 1. Those who may feel faint at the door-stopper size of the volume, take heart: it is a actually a super-fast read due to large amount of whitespace on each page devoted to email formatting.

But does it make you laugh? YES!
Apprentice Writer's expectation of Britlit of any genre is that there will be eccentric secondary (or, for that matter, primary) characters and plenty of them. This novel does not disappoint. Holly is the endearing 'straight man' to many equally endearing oddballs, and she never, ever, makes them feel like embarrasing goofs no matter how questionable their choices may be. We should all embrace the 'Live and let live' philosphy so well, and with such good humor.

/m

Laughter Reviews - Keeper: FARM FATALE

FARM FATALE: A Comedy of Country Manors
Wendy Holden
Comedy
Sourcebooks, 2010 (reissue)


Premise: Disillusioned Londoner seeks professional and romantic renewal through relocation to British countryside.

Cover: Title - Alliterative = win, funny = even winnier, plays on previous Holden title 'Fame Fatale' = winningest; the British title for the same book, 'Pastures Nouveaux', was good also, but Apprentice Writer must confess that she likes this better.
Art - gorgeous, saturated color and black silhouettes, perfectly complements cover art for previous title 'Beautiful People'; Apprentice Writer suspects that once Sourcebooks has completed its current run of Holden titles, the results would look spectacular popped into one of those big, multi-cutout picture frames that display half a dozen images at once.

What Works: This may possibly be AW's favorite Holden title of all. There is a perfect balance between empathy with the female protagonist character and amused disbelief with the female antagonist character. The secondary characters run the gamut of what the reader (at least, this one) would like to see in a British set story: glam urbanite, nosy neighbor, farmer, rock star, and AW's favorite: Bond girl. What's not to like? Not to mention the setting; AW adores HGTV-type shows that follow prospective home buyers poking around all sorts of villages and period cottages on the search for a rural retreat. This novel takes that longing, and looks at the unattractive (but very funny) underbelly of what that means in the real estate market. So as the reader can well predict, the heroine's dreams of an idyllic country cottage don't quite pan out. Equal in the non-panning-out department are the anti-heroine's dreams of an ostentatious country estate. The contrasts, and what the two women do about it, keep the reader entertained to the end and provide the basis for the apt subtitle 'A Comedy of Country Manors' (itself a clever play on words).

What Doesn't: Can't think of anything.

Overall: A classic Holden comedy of satiric contrasts that merrily mocks some behaviors and stereotypes even as it incites mad fantasies of leaping onto trans-Atlantic flights to seek out one's own charming English village filled with traditional as well as cutting-edge eccentrics.

But does it make you laugh? Yes, yes, yes!

Lady Avon! Ghost envy! A heart attack that somehow manages to be entertaining even though it really isn't! Just deserts for social snobs! Just a few of the entertaining bits that await. Gentle Reader: go forth and enjoy. And then please come back to say if AW promised too much or just enough!

Learn more about the author here.

Lightning Reviews: MULTI-GENRE CONTEMPORARY

Time for some more lightning reviews, contemporary division!

The Girls, by Lori Lansens
Literary Fiction, 2005 (reprinted 2009)
Cover: Attractive lilac shade, mysterious female face, it is only after reading the blurb and realizing that the story is about conjoined twins, forever bound to each other at the skull, that one realizes how apt the cover is, showing as it does two women attached but looking in opposite directions as do the protagonists (if you look at the front and back covers simultaneously). Simple but brilliant.
Content: Apprentice Writer absolutely loved this novel of conjoined sisters alternately telling the story of their life after learning one has a medical condition which will ultimately kill them both. The sisters' never-ending challenge and paradox is to do everything as one, but still be considered two separate individuals. Their voices are so distinct from one another that AW never mistook whose 'turn' to speak it was, despite annoyingly similar names bestowed upon them. The story explores such obvious themes as identity and definition of normalcy, but also feminitiy, boundaries of romantic and non-romantic love, exploitation, and what happens when biology (as opposed to social circumstance) forces one's sibling to also be take on a parent/child role.
Recommended for: Everyone. No matter how many books AW reads this year, 'The Girls' will be in her top five. She won it from Goodreads First Reads program, and immediately foisted it on her bookclub. It generated a tremendous amount of discussion and lingered long in the club's collective consciousness.


Made to be Broken, by Kelly Armstrong
Thriller, 2009
Cover: Moody red & black colors, graphic look, gun central = gives an accurate picture of what to expect, but not particularly unique or eyecatching. More signficant, perhaps, is the fact that the author's name is not only equal in size to the title but tops it: this author's has had runaway success in the paranormal and YA genres, and now appears to be crossing over into another with this suspenseful tale.
Content: AW wanted to get a taste of this very popular author's style, but could not warm up to her most well-known wolfian shapeshifter story, 'Bitten', praised though it is by many. So she picked up the second book in the Nadia Stafford series, about a female assassin for hire who runs an inn in rural Ontario when she isn't assassinating. And despite some sad-to-the-point-of-disturbing subject matter (murdered mother and stolen baby), the author's style lets the reader fly right along in the story. The protagonist's moral dilemmas and personal choices were convincing, her quandary of choice between two colleagues (and likewise, men) kept AW interested.
Recommended for: Fans of suspense, readers who like the author's work in other genres.

Curse of the Spellmans, by Lisa Lutz
(Spellman Files Book#2) Mystery, 2008
Cover: Indubitably eye-catching (ha!) due to rainbow color scheme, and the optics everywhere do make sense for the story, but the overall effect is muppet-like and could be done better.
Content: AW enjoyed Book#1 in this private investigator family series tremendously, and Book #2 even more so. To call it 'quirky' is like saying FIFA World Cup stadium audience members enjoy soccer - much too pale a word to capture the true essence of what's going on here. Isabelle Spellman's innate personality and unusual upbringing/training in private investigator tactics combine to produce a heroine who is without question odd and even dysfunctional in some ways, yet irrepressible and enormously appealing in her dogged attempts to do the right thing, regardless of whether the person she's doing it for or to wants that. She, her younger sister, and both parents are absolute masters of making the most jaw-dropping actions and statements seem perfectly reasonable.

As to AW's standard question, 'But does it make you laugh?'
Better believe it. Take a look:

A new neighbor has just witnessed Isabel exiting her parents' home from an upper window rather than a door. This does not st0p him from inviting her to breakfast. Bear in mind: the following is supposed to be their first DATE:
"As Subject beat eggs...I explained that I don't quite understand the big deal about doors. I casually mentioned my (window habit) as a throwback to my rebellious youth, but also as a rejection of the absoluteness of doors being the only socially acceptable mode of entry and exit. I'm not sure I convinced Subject to give windows a try himself. He stared at me a second too long and said, 'Well that's another way to look at it.'

Over breakfast Subject and I attempted to get each other's vital statistics.
'So what do you do?' I asked.
'I run a landscaping business.'
'Oh, that explains the gardening.'
'Does gardening need explaining?'
'I think so.'
'And you?'
'I haven't gardened in years. Thirty, to be exact.'
'You should try it sometime. Some people find it relaxing.'
'What kind of people?'
'I'm changing the subject,' Subject said."

'When you witness your mother vandalizing a motorbike for no apparent reason, there aren't a whole lot of people you can discuss it with.'

Someone is copycatting a series of creative vandalistic acts Isabel perpretrated (but never admitted to) as a teenager on a neighbor's outdoor holiday displays. Isabel is hired to solve the current case and begins by interviewing those who knew about it, starting with her dad, a former police officer.
"The transcript reads as follows:
Isabel: 'Do you recall the string of adjustments to Mrs. Chandler's life-size tableaux during the 1992-93 school year?'
Albert: 'Adjustments. Nice word choice.'
I: 'Please answer the question.'
A: 'Yes, I do recall the adjustments.'
I:....'Do you recall telling anyone about them.'
A: 'I do.
I: 'Approximately how many people?'
A: 'Has to be at least forty or fifty.'
I.'Are you out of your mind? Didn't you have anything else to talk about?'
A: 'Excuse me, Isabel, but I was getting tired of listening to my colleagues rave about their daughters' straight A's or swim team victories, science fair ribbons and Ivy League educations. These were the only bragging rights I had on you and I enjoyed it. I didn't relish you being a vandal, but the 'adjustments', as you call them, were downright brilliant. If only you had channelled that energy into something useful.'
I.: 'I have no idea what you're talking about.'
A.: 'Give me a break.'

Isabel's hardworking parents try taking a vacation, and send separate emails home to their daughters:
"Subject: Cruise Ship Dispatch #1
This is like a floating prison. Sometimes I just want to throw myself overboard so I can have some more space. I can't see the appeal. Plus, your mom's sick as a dog, so I have to roam the decks alone. Everyone on board has been drugged with some awful substance that makes them smile constantly. Crew members are always asking me if they can help me with anything. I'm walking down a hallway, and they ask if I need assistance. With what? I hope you both are behaving yourselves. I'll know if you're not. Dad.

Subject: Greetings from Hell
After two days of eating saltines, I finally made it out of the cabin, which is about the size of our Audi. In defense of my cabin, however, no-one inside it wears a thong.'

Recommended for: Fans of unusual, unpredictable heroines, readers who enjoy unique secondary characters and don't need a fulfilled love affair every book, anyone who likes their humor dry and quirky. AW can't wait to see what happens in Book #3, 'The Spellmans Strike Back', and can't decide at this moment if she likes Isabel's tween sister Rae or the superlative Flavia de Luce of 'The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie'. Tough choice, which calls for immediate reading of next books to decide.

Non-Book Reviews: COMEDIC ACTORS IN DRAMA

MY ONE AND ONLY
2009




MY SISTER'S KEEPER
2009






It has been observed more than once that awards shows are very happy to make use of people with comedic talents to host the ceremonies, but not so happy to actually include stellar comedic performances among those worthy of the industry's highest awards. The prevailing explanation being that for some reason, people who are good at producing laughter aren't pulling off as difficult or meaningful a feat as people who are good at producing tears.

The Gentle Reader can guess what Apprentice Writer thinks of that.

Yes. Exactly.

Yet it has struck her more than once what gutwrenching dramatic performances comedic actors are capable of (grammar police: yes, yes, that participle is dangling. Let it have some fun already.)

In AW's view, Jim Carrey's finest performance was as the bewildered Everyman, ignorant of his celebrity status in 'The Truman Show'.

Will Ferrell's best was as the obsessive-compulsive bureaucrat grappling with parallel realities in 'Stranger Than Fiction'.

Bravo to those casting directors who saw dramatic potential in those actors, and those casting directors who added a pair of female comics to the list.

Renee Zellweger, of everlasting (and well-deserved) Bridget Jones fame, gave a lovely, poignant performance as a mother determined to find a new father for her sons in 'My One and Only'. After the utterly forgettable 'New in Town' (and it pains AW to say that, given her deep love for Harry Connick Jr.), it was a welcome change to see Ms. Zellweger in the role of a mature character, dealing with adult situations and emotions, rather than yet another twenty-something bumbler. She does that very well, but enough already.

She plays a woman in the '50's who decides she simply won't tolerate her husband's philandering any more, takes one suitcase and her teenaged sons, and leaves - without any marketable skills or support system. She is given many male characters with whom to interact and in an interesting and effective move, the well-known ones act against type. But not for a single moment does the viewer lose track of the fact that this is a film about the female lead. The ending has a nice little twist that takes the story out of fiction and into biography.

And in further proof of Ms. Zellweger's ripeness for understated performance, the best lines in the whole film go not to her, but to one of the husband-candidate characters. His big fatherly-advice-giving scene to the teenaged narrator involves a recommendation to keep a sweater handy because understanding women is about temparature control: they are always too hot or too cold. If you can fix that, you're all set.

Joan Cusack is a marvellous comic actor who has made a career of playing the quirky sidekick or best friend. AW's favorite is the fabulous 'Grosse Point Blank' where she plays executive assistant to her equally fabulous brother John Cusack's assassin for hire character. For some unfathomable reason she has not had a big break playing a lead herself, but it is wonderful to see her now being considered for dramatic parts.

AW has never read any Jodi Picoult books, which are extremely popular among general fiction readers, but have a reputation of being emotionally manipulative (according to some readers). AW was unsure what to expect going in, given the heart-rending subject matter (childhood cancer) and how her like of Abigail Breslin balanced out her dislike of Cameron Diaz. In the end, neither Breslin nor Diaz made much impression despite being the main characters - the magic Breslin had in 'Little Miss Sunshine' seems to have rubbed off, and Diaz was as painfully unconvincing as ever.

It was the secondary characters who stole the show: Jason Patric as the stoic, hypo-verbal firefighter in the impossible situation of having to choose which of his children needs a father most at any given time, and having to choose when to be a parent and when to be a spouse. Evan Ellingson as the attention-deprived, learning disabled son. Sofia Vassilyeva as the terminally ill teen, whose performance was so convincing AW wondered if she had personal experience with life-threatening conditions. And most of all, Joan Cusack, in the small but pivotal role of judge tasked with determining whether to grant an eleven-year-old medical emancipation. AW believed every word, every facial expression, and thought this performance (with those of the other secondary characters) made the movie worth watching despite a twist the viewer can see miles away and a tediously pat ending.

Hooray for actors who prove that far from being shallow, talent in comedy springs from a deep understanding of the painful challenges of life!

Gentle Reader- seen either of these movies? What did you think? Should AW read a Jodi Picoult book?

/m

Review & Giveaway: RUMOR HAS IT

RUMOR HAS IT
by Jill Mansell
Humorous Women's Fiction
Sourcebooks, 2010 In Stores Now

Premise: Newly single young Londoner starts fresh in a small town where she soon learns that practically everyone is either subject or instigator of some form of rumor, forcing her (and all others) to choose whether to believe, refute, ignore, or repeat the pseudo-information.

Cover: Title - short and snappy, captures content. Art - bright, breezy, breath of fresh air all leap to mind. Though Apprentice Writer does not recall a single butterfly in the narrative, much less a herd of them, the feeling they and the nicely shod feet represent is accurate: upbeat tale of someone generally confident and young-at-heart. Altogether, an attractive, well-done cover.

What Works: In case AW has not mentioned it before - she is a bit of an armchairAnglophile. She adores her mental picture of picturesque villages, ancient buildings, overflowing flowerboxes, shopping in quaint little shops rather than big-box department stores, and ultra dry-witted joie de vivre (all gained from books and movies) so much she is actually a little afraid of making a real-life trip to the UK in case her preconceived notion is shattered.

AW is not proud of this head in the sand mentality, but it does explain how pleased she was to find this story reinforced her fantasy. It was her first Mansell novel. AW has no clue how this came to be given the entertainment value and long string of previous novels but now that she knows she intends to do something about that backlist.

She liked how the heroine responded to discovering that her live-in boyfriend had decided to dump her by moving out without a single word of warning. Instead of moping, she spontaneously decides to take a job as 'Girl Friday' in a small town where a friend lives. She moves in with single dad Max and his tween daughter Lou, to keep the house and Lou running on time while Max tends to his interior design business. This leads to occasional contact with the hero, a contractor, who responded to the accidental death of his fiance by becoming the town's much sought after Bachelor #1. Everyone, it seems, either warns the heroine off of him or sees her as a rival for his attention, causing a long-drawn-out process of her fighting her attraction to him which forms the main plot of the story.

But it was the subplots of the story that AW found most interesting (perhaps, because it was not possible to tell how they would end up). The shopowner harrassed by the ex-wife of her new romantic interest, the father shocked to realize that even though he is comfortable with the consequences of coming out of the closet, his child may not be, the actress buffeted by bad publicity. Max was AW's favorite character, for the way he interacted with everyone, and for the most poignant scene in the story; he figures out precisely what someone in a very difficult situation most needs to hear, and says it, regardless of how someone else thinks it is inappropriate.

What Doesn't: It is not hard to figure out why the heroine is attracted to the hero: good-looking, charming, successfully running his own business, kind to his still-grieving former in-laws, and the clincher: willing to put himself out for an animal that is neither attractive nor his. What's not to like? What wasn't so clear was what drew him to the heroine. They spend little time alone together and so don't have a chance to get to know and appreciate one another in a natural or relaxed way. Due to caution at first and misunderstanding later on, the heroine is goes from being standoffish to judgemental, unappreciative, and at times downright rude. His tolerance of all this was most puzzling, given that he had next to no fond memories of good times together between them to fall back on.

The resolution of the burned-by-false-publicity actress subplot also felt AW feeling ambivalent. On the one hand, the character is a sympathetic one and so the reader is pleased when she ends on a positive note in her personal life. But since this is a contemporary story rather than a historical one, AW very much wished...

MILD SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....that the decision she made regarding her professional life could somehow have felt more like a contemporary solution rather than the more traditional "I'll let my man worry about making the money" view.

END SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Overall: The current crop of online reviews for this title contain intriguing fodder for the question 'What is chicklit, and is it dead?', with opinions ranging from RHI being a classic example of the best the subgenre has to offer, to reviewers liking RHI 'despite' it being chicklit, to referring to it as romantic comedy because calling it chicklit would be 'almost insulting'. The Gentle Reader will not be surprised that AW has an opinion. Or four.

1. 'Rumor Has It' does fall under the chicklit umbrella.
Ticks on the checklist include:
stylish shoes on cover (with all that implies),
cartoon-drawing cover (ditto),
young, single, urban, female protagonist (who we know will NOT be single by 'The End')
multiple mentions of fashion brand names,
protagonist is very tight with friend(s) and distant with family,
there is a booze-influenced plot development.

2. Falling under the chicklit umbrella is not a negative thing.
Apprentice Writer is extremely fond of well-done chicklit. It was a Brit invention, and therefore no big surprise that the Brits, in her humble opinion, still do it best. The problem is that this subgenre, perhaps more so than others, has unfortunately come to be associated not so much with the examples of the well-executed variety, but with the flood of bandwagon-jumper-oners that seemed to be all pink covers and dim, materialistic stereotypes, so that its fans (much like romance aficionados) seem compelled to offer excuses to avoid negative judgment from readers who think of themselves as somehow loftier. Having said that,

3. Classic chicklit is an increasingly rare beast in the current publishing climate.
Hence AW's description of RHI at the top of the post as 'humorous women's fiction'. Hence also AW's kudos to Sourcebooks for continuing to provide these kinds of titles for the public when, for example, behemoth Harlequin discontinued its Red Dress Ink line.

4. RHI also falls under the women's fiction umbrella.
Ticks on the checklist include:
third- rather than first-person voice,
ensemble cast,
exploration of some decidedly non-shallow topics, including serious illness and homophobia. This story is not all lipstick and cocktails.




But does it make you laugh? YES
In a wry, 'I know people just like that!' recognition kind of way.

Learn more about the author here.

GIVEAWAY!
Publisher Soucebooks has generously offered two copies for Apprentice Writer's readers. To win, comment on the review or answer the question:

"Have you ever been the subject of a rumor, and what did you do about it?"

The Fine Print:
1. U.S. and Canadian addresses only please, no P.O. boxes.
2. If your profile does not lead back to an active blog, please leave a non-spammable way to get in touch.
3. Bonus entry for recommending another Jill Mansell novel for AW's TBR pile and explaining why you chose that one.
4. Bonus entry for following, either here here on on Twitter (MayaWriter) and then telling me about it.
5. Contest closes 30 May 2010.

Good luck!

Page 1: Rumor Has It

"How weird that you could push open your front door and know in an instant that something was wrong."



Come back tomorrow for Apprentice Writer's review & giveaway!

Author Guest Post & Giveaway: WENDY HOLDEN

Today, Apprentice Writer is delighted to welcome one of her favorite comedic authors, UK novelist Wendy Holden.


It's wonderful to see your books make the jump across the pond with Sourcebooks!

First things first: the cover. The UK original continues the upbeat figure outline drawing on white background. This US edition has gorgeous saturated color with striking black silhouette, which I loved. Did you choose the title and have input on cover art?

WH: Sourcebooks is brilliant and involve me all the way. I saw the art and loved it immediately. It's so stylish and glamorous, and as the novel is set in a very glamorous world, it helps get the message across.

On this side of the pond, there has been much talk of the demise of classic chicklit and shift of its authors into other subgenres (for example, I recently reviewed an excellent novel described as Regency Chicklit). Has there been a similar development in the UK, or can you hold out hope for fans of classic chicklit?

WH: Many Brit chick litters have gone into Hen Lit - writing about families and children. I'm more interested in exploring the comic potential of various exclusive milieux. 'Beautiful People' is about the film industry and 'Gallery Girl', the book I've just finished, is about the crazy, sexy, wealthy and hilarious world of contemporary art. But there's always a girl heroine fighting her way through difficult people and situations and so in that sense they're as classic chicklit as you like.

What comes to you first? Heroine? Antagonist? Great one-liners?

WH: All three, ideally. Usually the anti-heroine, as I like writing those people best. Call it auto-biography.

My favorite scene in the story is Marco's confession - so morose, so sincere, so funny What is your favorite scene?

WH:I love Belle being summoned to the office of the very powerful and very scary studio boss and being told her latest film has bombed. She is outraged and has a diva tantrum. The studio boss is very short and has a very fragile ego - his executives sit on kindergarten chairs to make him feel better.

What does a typical writing day look like for you? All boas, bonbons, and fan adulation....

WH: Yeah! Except you missed out the people peeling the grapes and pouring the pink champagne!

....and what is the truth about the rumor that UK authors are conspiring to storm J.K.Rowling's castle en masse to stake out their own territories in the turrets and battlements?

WH: This is a metaphor, right? Because J.K.Rowling lives in Scotland and most UK authors don't even know where that is. I'm not planning to storm her castle in any way as boy wizards aren't my thing; besides, I've got a castle of my own!

Best writing habit? Worst writing vice?

WH: Best writing habit is working a full day. My worst writing habit is endlessly checking email.

Nightstand inspection! What was the book you last read in your own genre that made the greatest impression? Out of your genre?

WH: Well my genre is comic fiction really and the last thing I read in that genre was Posy Simmond's graphic novel 'Gemma Bovary'. She's an English author/illustrator and a social observer of genius. Outside my genre, I'm reading Dickens. He is a one-man crash course in thrilling plots and brilliant characters.

My preschooler's favorite alphabet book is 'Freezing ABC' by Posy Simmond! And yes it is beautifully illustrated and filled with clever little details that make gentle fun of human nature (disguised as animals).

Who is your writing idol and why?

WH: The English writer Sue Townsend, creator of the Adrian Mole series. She is concise, compassionate, clever, brilliantly observant, and absolutely hilarious.

I will have to take a look at Adiran Mole, in that case.

Which literary character do you wish you'd thought of first?

WH: Well, Harry Potter, obviously. I take back everything I said about boy wizards.

Haha! Anything else you'd like to share with Apprentice Writer's readers?

WH: If you're writing your first novel, don't tell anyone. People are desperate for you to fail. If no-one knows you're doing it, no-one knows if it doesn't work out. But if you stick at it, it will work out.

Whoops. Too late. I've already told everyone. Clearly, I now have no choice but to stick with it, first three agent rejections notwithstanding.

Thank you Ms. Holden for taking the time to stop by and chat with us!

Gentle Reader: learn more about the author here, including upcoming title: Gallery Girl
and please stay to enter our

GIVEAWAY!
Comment for a chance to win 1 of 2 copies of 'Beautiful People' generously provided by Sourcebooks. Double your chances by commenting on yesterday's review


The Fine Print:
1. U.S. and Canadian addresses only, no P.O. Boxes please.
2. Leave a non-spammable way to get in touch if your profile doesn't lead back to an active blog.
3. Bonus entry for following here or on Twitter (MayaWriter) and letting me know about it.
4. Contest closes 7 May 2010.


Good luck!

Laughter Reviews & Giveaway: BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
by Wendy Holden
Humorous Women's Fiction
Sourcebooks, April 2010 - IN STORES NOW


Premise: A 'serious' British actress getting her first big commercial break, a papparazzi-loving American actress looking to find her way back into the limelight, and a down-to-earth British nanny wrestle with the question of what makes someone attractive.

Cover: Eye-catching, saturated color, classic chicklit stiletto icon, title that can be interpreted on more than one level = great cover.

What Works: Apprentice Writer doesn't recall how she first came across this author's work several years ago, but she has been an admirer of the over-the-top Britlit style ever since. The daily life dilemmas of the protagonists are so easily relatable the reader can't help but sympathize, the self-centred misbehavior of the antagonists so overblown that the reader often develops perverse affection for their delusions of grandeur. Ms. Holden's novels are great fun, and this one is no exception. She takes such glee in skewering stereotypes that one can't help but go along with it and speculate about what composite of celebrities may have inspired various novel characters. It is not a simple 'let's laugh at the out-of-touch-with-reality celebrities' story, though; by taking certain behaviors or character traits of more ordinary folks to the extreme to make a point, this is also a cautionary tale about the risks that can go along with blind deference to fame or social status.

AW's favorite scene was right at the end, when an Italian character confesses his deepest sin. In a story dotted with shortcomings of various intensities and unpleasantness, the secret revealed as most shameful was so true to character and believable it provided the perfect comedic endnote.

What Doesn't: Apprentice Writer has observed that often, a person's greatest strength can also be their weakness. She has long admired this author's skill at with multiple point-of-view characters, the a heroine/villainess juxtaposition often being the most enjoyable aspect of the story. In this case, the reader entered the thoughts of a rather staggering number of characters - male and female, mature and teenaged, financially advantaged and financially exploited, talented and wannabe, shifting across three countries - such that this reader suffered occasional moments of head-hopper exhaustion which led at times to lack of connection with the character de page. Reflecting on this narrative choice, it occured to Apprentice Writer that it may have been intended as a statement on the fleeting nature of fame and how one barely comes to recognize a new star before his/her face is swept away on the tide of new up-and-comers. So, she will give benefit of the doubt and call this a clever nod to the reality of all the 'beautiful people' out there struggling to make their living from their appearance.

The second thing that made AW say 'Huh?' was the opening point-of-view. None of the three primary characters, nor even one of the 'main' (if that's the correct word) secondary characters, but a minor (AW is going to call it tertiary) character who then disappears for a long stretch. This confused her, used as she is to the current fictional convention of opening with either the protagonist or antagonist, and therefore feeling in a holding pattern of anticipation that that tertiary character would enter the scene again at any moment. It took quite some time to clue in that that wasn't going to happen. Again, once she thought about it, AW could appreciate that the scene was actually a bullseye choice for a story about, duh, beautiful people: a top executive for a modelling agency who is eternally on the lookout for the next 'It' face spots one in the wild (i.e. on a London street). AW will further admit that she really enjoyed the funny twist, wherein the executive is stunned when the boy to whom the traffic-stopping face belongs is indifferent to being discovered, and runs away. It was like the fish story of talent scouts. AW slotted it in under 'Who says the rule of opening with a main character can't be broken?'


But does it make you laugh? YES
This is a classic Holden tale, with eccentric ensemble cast and lots of changes of scenery. Another novel perfectly suited to the beach bag or airplane carry-on from the queen of contemporary social satire.


GIVEAWAY!
Who's your favorite 'beautiful person' and why?

Comment for a chance to win 1 of 2 copies of 'Beautiful People', then come back tomorrow for Q&A with the author to double your chances!

The Fine Print:
1. U.S. and Canadian addresses only, no P.O. Boxes please.
2. Leave a non-spammable way to get in touch if your profile doesn't lead back to an active blog.
3. For bonus entry, follow here or on Twitter (MayaWriter) and let me know.
4. Contest closes on 7 May 2010.

Good luck!

/m

Author Guest Post & Giveaway: LIBBY MALIN

Today, Apprentice Writer welcomes the lovely Libby Malin, author of humorous women's fiction, chatting on the topic of




SOAP OPERA IN A TWITTER WORLD

I've watched Days of Our Lives for many years and before that, Another World.I liked to ponder the challenges of a soap writer - juggling actor vacations and contract changes, sweeps week stories - things outside of the writer's control, for the most part. Oh, and soap genealogy - I think more than one soap has shifted a story line after it was apparent that the family linkage between a guy and a gal was a little too close for comfort. Family trees get awfully twisted on soaps. That should be a college major - Daytime Drama Character Lineage! LOL!

Anyway, I found myself thinking about how writers dealt with these various challenges, and noticing how skillful the writers were, for the most part, in constructing story arcs. It fascinated me, especially since the storylines are usually so outlandish - swapped babies, evil twins, people 'coming back from the dead' (usually with amnesia). And yet, if the writers do a good job, you're riveted. You absolutely must be there when the Big Scene occurs - when the villains misdeeds are revealed, when the villainess gets her comeuppance. You drool for those moments!

Another thing I love about soaps is how the characters say outrageous things to one another that you'd never say in real life, no matter how much you loathed someone. Yet on a soap opera, it's not unusual to see various characters talking trash right in the face of someone they can't stand. It's marvellously satisfying.

So all of those things combined together created the germs of a story idea about a soap opera head writer. I started thinking: wouldn't it be neat to a soap opera writer and use all those in-your-face scenes to work out your own "issues" with people in real life? And what if real life started to blend into the soap life? That's how the idea of a real jewel thief imitating the one on the show popped into My Own Personal Soap Opera.

Another think I particularly admired about the soal Another World was how they stayed true to one story arc they used over and over - that is, haves-vs.-have-nots. The theme ran through all their plots. It also runs through My Own Personal Soap Opera. Frankie, the head writer, comes from 'the wrong side of the tracks', while Victor, the marketing guru who comes in to help raise the soap's ratings, comes from a moneyed background.

Since I am not, nor have I ever been, involved in the production of a soap opera, I had to do a bunch of research. I read some fiction set in the soap world as well as a number of autobiographies of soap stars. I also consulted with a number of people who do or did work on soaps, including the head writer of As the World Turns, who was so gracious and patient with my questions. I took what I learned and used it as a springboard for my fictional tale. Therefore, I did stretch reality to suit my particular story - just as soap opera writers do!

Thanks for having me as a guest. I'd be happy to answer any questions about writing as best I can.

Thanks, Libby, for dropping by!


GIVEAWAY!

Ask a question or make a comment and you can win a copy of My Own Personal Soap Opera, generously provided by Sourcebooks!

Double your chances by commenting on Apprentice Writer's review, posted yesterday!


The Fine Print:
1. U.S. and Canadian addresses only, no P.O. Boxes.
2. Leave a non-spammable way to reach you if your profile does not lead back to an active blog.
3. Bonus entries by following here or on Twitter (MayaWriter), please let Apprentice Writer know if you do.
4. Contest closes 27 April 2010.


Learn more about the author here.

Good luck!

Laughter Reviews & Giveaway: MY OWN PERSONAL SOAP OPERA

MY OWN PERSONAL SOAP OPERA: Looking for Reality in All the Wrong Places
by Libby Malin
Humorous Women's Fiction
Sourcebooks, April 2010


Premise: Personal and professional life starts to merge for newly promoted head script writer of longlived but threatened-with-cancellation soap opera.

Cover: Title - Perfectly captures content, subtitle a nice (and accurate) touch. Art - Delightful. The white-on-blue bubble background, redhead in a tub foreground, mix of block and cursive text set great anticipatory tone. Anyone looking at this knows they are in for a light, fun, happily-ever-after-in-some-way-or-other story.

What Works: Apprentice Writer is not of an overly patient nature. Perhaps for this reason she never got into soaps. If she is impatient with a two-hour movie that takes too long to resolve whodunit, how can she tolerate waiting months upon months to find out who tampered with the mail that fell into the evil twin's hands who blackmailed the prince-in-disguise who offered marriage by proxy to the amnesiac seretary?

AW did have a university roommate, though, who followed four or so soaps devotedly and a few others peripherally, much to the detriment of the roomate's grades and satisfaction of her need for emotional stories grafted onto goodlooking actors. Her devotion was such that AW suspected she was missing something, and chose a soap to follow according to the following criteria: 1. Not in roommate's stable (one must have some originality, after all) and 2. Airing before she left for the day's classes. Whether due to destiny or inferior selection criteria, that soap soon bit the dust. AW took it as a sign that she was not meant to be a soap viewer.

Imagine her surprise, therefore, when she took to this story and most especially it's heroine, Frankie, from page 1. Was it because it was in written rather than visual form? Was it because of the sometimes very funny situations and purple prose in the soap scenes studded throughout? Was it because of recognition of the incredible liberation posed by characters in the stories delivering the perfect comebacks and setdowns at exactly the right time, a luxury very few of us enjoy (unless AW is in the minority when she swallows her feelings or thinks of a great retort only when the opportunity is long gone)?

Whatever the reason - she was swept up into the story of Frankie's battle to stay on top of the heaving creative ship, protect the citizens of her town, keep to the high road post-divorce with her ex, chart a course in confusing love life, and grow her career amid a sea of colleagues with various intensities of secrets and ambitions for the next It showbiz thing.

One doesn't have to live or work in Hollywood to develop fellow feeling for a young woman who is smart but needs to prove it, creative but derided for her choice of artistic outlet, yearning for love but hesitant to accept it when it appears to come along. Welcome to the new milenium, when it seems we are constantly called upon to make a rapid, far-reaching choice among multiple shifting possibilities.

What Doesn't: There was one off note. Since it is mildly spoilerish AW will only say that it was a staff management decision that made no sense to her given employee behavior up to that point coupled with Frankie's relentless desire to be seen as worthy of her executive position. The choice made was in conflict with both those elements, and consequently seemed to fit in less with natural character behavior and more with authorly plot purposes.

This was however quickly forgiven when AW realized that the second aspect that at first made her say 'Oh no!' was actually the cleverest joke of them all: she reached 'The End' and sputtered "But...but...it can't be the end yet! I have to know what happened to X's relationship! And Y's career! And Z's health crisis! And..."

This was when it struck her - Duh! THIS is why soap viewers keep coming back. That masterful tease, that expertly measured portion of clue which is just enough to tantalize them with the promise that return will be worthwhile and not enough that they will guess what happens or else whom it happens to. Non-soap watcher though she may be, AW engaged with Frankie and her crew enough to cherish the hope that there may be a follow-up story to quench her burning desire to know what exactly happened to that relationship, and that career, and health crisis, and...

Overall: If the test of a book is whether it makes the reader want to search out the author's backlist as well as read future titles, MOPSO is a success. The perfect light-hearted novel to buy now for immediate enjoyment of rainy spring evenings, or delayed gratification of sunny beach days.

But does it make you laugh? YES
'Zany', 'fast-moving' and 'multi-layered' are not rhetoric when applied to the 'Lust for Life' crowd. This is not a book readers would accuse of dragging middle - or beginning, or end.

GIVEAWAY!
The publisher, Sourcebooks, has generously provided two copies of MOPSO for AW's readers For a chance to win, share your thoughts on the question:

What soap opera plot development would you most like to see?

The come back tomorrow to double your chances by commenting on the author's GUEST POST.


The Fine Print:
1. U.S. and Canadian addresses only, please. No P.O. Boxes.
2. Follow Apprentice Writer here or on Twitter (MayaWriter) and let her know, for up to 2 bonus entries.
3. Please leave a non-spammable way to get in touch in case your profile doesn't lead back to an active blog.
4. Contest ends 27 April 2010.

Good luck!

/m.

Multi-Genre Lightning Reviews: HISTORICAL

Soulless, by Gail Carriger
Historical Paranormal Comedy, 2009

One of the most hotly anticipated debuts of last year, 'Soulless' made many a reader's top-10 list but Apprentice Writer would have read it on strength of fantabulous cover alone. Turns out, the story was well worth it, despite a couple of stumbles in the pacing and repetition departments and the headscratcher of a supposedly super-educated heroine not knowing the correct plural of 'octopus'. But no matter: the word best used to sum up here is 'Rollicking!', and AW will definitely continue with the story of Miss Tarabotti, paranormal heroine extraordinaire.



Half Broke Horses, by Jeannette Walls
Fictionalized Biography, 2009

Read for book club, the cover would not have made AW pick this title up in the store but it was perfectly reflective of content. The author tells the story of her maternal grandmother's life in a believable, enthralling first-person voice. Born at a challenging time in an unforgiving environment (to a struggling family in west Texas during the Great Depression), she was astonishing in her determination (and extraordinary success!) at rising up to meet any and every challenge in her path. When she wasn't making AW feel like the wussiest princess ever to walk the earth she was truly inspirational.




Secret History of the Pink Carnation, by Lauren Willig
Historical/Contemporary Romantic Suspense, 2005
The first of an extremely popular, light-hearted and botanically-named series, Apprentice Writer spied this gorgeously covered re-release and was inspired to take a look. Alas, though there was a lot she liked, this story suffered from crazy huge anticipation build-up. She kept thinking about how the historical hero didn't seem that competent a spy, how the historical heroine seemed just a little too immature, how the villain kept making very basic mistakes.... Based on what she did like, and in view of the fact that this was the debut effort, AW would take a look at the next in the series but it would need to work hard to make her work her way through what has become a lengthy series (with gorgeous covers, one and all).

What say you, Gentle Reader? Familiar with any of these titles?

Laughter Reviews - Keeper: THE SWEETNESS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PIE

THE SWEETNESS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PIE
Alan Bradley
Mystery
Doubleday, 2009

Premise: Upper-class, neglected girl finds a dying man in her garden and takes up the case.

Cover: Title - Perplexing, until full quote is known ("Unless some sweetness at the bottom lie, Who cares for all the crinkling of the pie?" from The Art of Cooking) and later when it is quoted to the heroine by the police inspector. Art - Striking but also perplexing, until one encounters the deceased bird with stamp adornment in the pages. Altogether, unusual and intriguing cover.

What Works: The most spectacularly unusual heroine this reader has encountered in a long time, eleven-year-old Flavia de Luce is by turns funny, whipsmart, terrifyingly precocious, and childlike. Over and over, she confounds everyone around her by thinking and performing far beyond any reasonable expectations one might have of a child. Mother deceased while she was an infant, father still immersed in grief such that his three daughters are more or less left entirely to their own devices, Flavia has adjusted to the realization that in her family, people only express affection through doing dreadful things to one another - and by loyally taking the fall for whomever may be threatened by others at any time. This includes the war-traumatized gardener, who 'loses' bits of shortterm memory and has retreated to plants due to ever-decreasing ability to deal with people.

Because of the family's elevated social position in their British village, her own unusualness resulting in lack of friendship opportunities with peers, and relatively large age difference to her older siblings, Flavia is a loner, bored out of her nimble mind and has become a self-taught chemistry prodigy. When she comes across a dying man, she is consequently delighted: Finally, something to do! Her sleuthing process takes many dips and turns, alternating between hilarious and frightening, but is never, ever dull.

Some excerpts that give a flavor of typical Flavia and show the author's flair for similes:

"I still shivered with joy whenever I thought of the rainy day that Chemistry had fallen into my life. I had been scaling the bookcases, pretending I was a noted Alpinist, when my foot slipped and a heavy book was knocked to the floor...within moments it had taught me that the word iodine comes from a word meaning violet, and that the name bromine was derived from a Greek word meaning 'a stench'. These were the sorts of things I needed to know!..When I found that precise instructions were given for formulating (poisons) I was in seventh heaven...I tried to follow instructions to the letter. Not to say that there weren't a few stinks and explosions, but the less said about those the better."

"Whenever I wanted to be alone...I would clamber up into the dim light of the (abandoned Rolls Royce) where I would sit for hours..surrounded by drooping plush upholstery and cracked, nibbled leather (filled with mouse nests)."

"I rechristened (the bicycle) Gladys..I found a booklet called Cycling for Women of all Ages, by Prunella Stack, the leader of the Women's League of Health and Beauty...Was there a companion booklet, Cycling for Men of All Ages, I wondered? And, if so, had it been written by the leader of the Men's League of Health and Handsomeness?"

"Ned stuck out his callused fingers...it was like shaking hands with a pineapple."

"It was like a dirigible with the skin off..."

"...her hair looked like a hot air balloon."

"I made the Girl Guide three-eared bunny salute with my fingers. I did not tell him that I was technically no longer a member of that organization, and hadn't been since I was chucked out for manufacturing ferric hydroxide to earn my domestic service badge. No one seemed to care that it was the antidote for arsenic poisoning."

"Feely once gave Daffy and me (a piece of sisterly advice): 'If ever you're accosted by a man, kick him in the Casanovas and run like the blue blazes!' Although it had sounded at the time like a useful bit of intelligence, the only problem was that I didn't know where the Casanovas were located. I'd have to think of something else."

"I found a dead body in the cucumber patch,' I told them. 'How very like you,' Ophelia said, and went on preening her eyebrows."

What Doesn't: Readers who have trouble with claustrophobia, or who are uncomfortable with children in dangerous situations, may want to sidestep this story. In case it makes them feel better, they can take note of the fact that this is the first book in a series; which demonstrates that at the end of this story, things have turned out alright for Flavia.

Overall: A wildly entertaining and unpredictable story; Apprentice Writer is impatiently waiting for her turn with the library's audiobook copy of the second in the series, the equally perplexingly named 'The Weed that Strings the Hangman's Bag'.

But does it make you laugh? YES!
If the gentle reader has not paid attention, he or she is urged to go look at the excerpts again.

Learn more about the author here.

m.